Things NOT to do.

Do not take another driver's word for it when their car has a dent in the back.
Do not say "prove it".
Do not headbang in the car.
Do not assume that curdled milk is youghurt.
Do not exaggerate your ethical dilemmas (you have no choice).

magic mushrooms!
Jack. Jack, I'm flying!!
Yes you are, Darling, yes you are.
Splash.
Call me Jack,
Jack the ripper.

THIS IS BAD. I'm neurotic after talking to Su Re. It's not her fault. I promise.

Identifying a Speech pathologist is easy.
1. Stops at all second hand bookshops
2. Takes unexplained interest in toys.
3. Looks at your lips and not your eyes when you talk.
4. Repeats things you say quietly when you are not looking.
5. Phonetically transcribes bad speakers.
6. Watches in disgust as child tantrums in K-Mart.