7 Months to the wedding and we are choosing tiles

I am so unsure of what I am doing.
Most days, I move like I have some kind of disorder, either because I am frantic to finish one piece of work, or because some part of me is hurting. This week it is my feet and I have been told I should get orthodics.. but that they will be expensive.

Another sigh to sink into the dust.
It's been a while since I've felt alive.
I feel like I am numb, just waking and working because it is survival.
I dont even feel present for half of that time.

Jesus has been here for me
in my lowly state He did not condemn me for His great love
Covered a multitude of my sin.
His blood I see as wine
Sweet, sticky, undeserved.