What is it about life that throws you around and leaves you tucked in a corner worn and tired? What is it about life that makes you think you're having fun but when the ride stops, you feel cheated, empty, and sick?
What is it about life that just isn't funny once the laughter dies down?

It's the small things, that's what. It's the monotone answers, the curt tone, the aimless shopping, the idle talk and the turn of a head that chooses to ignore someone else's needs.

I've found too many here. Too many to be good for my own soul, because I am on trial and I find myself guilty for more than my fair share of these sins.

It's the small things that have taken me and eaten into my being... that have come unguarded and unnoticed... and they have done their part in the grand play of life well. Too well. Some are good, other bad. If those were the only descriptives in this world life would be easier. Good, bad. But there's terrible, horrendous, exellent, poor, fair, perfect (the one we never hit), and a multitude of others... You can never tell what one thing is because of the choice of words there are to label it with.

I wish life was less painful. But I don't say it, because I don't mean it. I know I hurt for my own sake... to learn. To grow. To let go and to keep, to rise and fall...

Perhaps it is sleep that I need.. why the pessimism, sara? You're usually not like this! I look in the mirror and I see the same face, but the emotions behind it have changed.

Jesus I believe in you
and I will go
to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
You are God
You are God

Jaa Ne. Sleep Well.