My Dearest Uncle,
I would not write but for the rules and regulations I must abide by. The law forces itself on me, and everyone else in this place, and will not hear otherwise. The only controversial alternative is that of grace, which I am told, is a myth. The juniors have their table at lunch, and we do talk about these things however forbidden they are. I trust you are family; do not divulge my private matters- slubgob has enough work as it is.

I am not as ambitious as you would hope, dear sir. I do my work, but I live from day to day, for momentary pleasure. You wish that I was more motivated, and perhaps more stirred to cause strife in the life of my patient. You complain they will not grant me another patient till I have proved myself. You, uncle, are anxious, I am sure, for me to prove myself for your sake. Frankly, this is not something I am willing to do; I'm no angel. We all made this choice as a family, when his lowliness decided to start this war. I made this choice because I wanted to live not caring about morals, or good and evil. Don't try to enforce anti-morals on me either, because they are the same. Dilligence, passion, focus, hope of achievement! You ask me to have these things, yet they are, you must reluctantly recognize, of the enemy's camp! Your contradictions disturb and annoy me.

One last thing must be addressed; I instilled in my patient's mind, the night her father drove me home, the idea that men are irritating. And she has begun to take up a feminist stand, although it is false. Someday it may turn real if I am careful. Of course, we decided that she should learn the art of manhandling, and perhaps of boyhandling. After all, she is part of the larger population. She has the qualifications to handle that sort of training. I have already submitted applications to begin training. Fighting Liberally In Real Time, a three month practical course in getting what you want with what you have. That's what it's called. FLIRT, for short.

Since you must be a little lacking in the following of the syllabus (I imply nothing), let me update you. For the minority population, we had initially feared the worst. We feared that with no looks, no assets and no lustful charm, we would fail to implement FLIRT and thus fail to enslave a majority of the testosterone charged humans. We conducted extensive research, and after a few major campaigns, which you may have heard of from under your rock, we have convinced the western world that tall, skinny, flat and strange looking women are a novelty. de-rejoice, uncle! The world now strives for this standard! These capable women are even more effective in our work than the age old bend-and-snappers! Moreover, not all of the minority fail in all areas; only one or two, but it keeps them all the more dissatisfied, when they should be attending to their families they go to slimming centres instead. I myself am a rather large specimen; I am not proud of it. My dear cousin dropdead-G is also unsatisfied. Although she has a beautifully svelte figure, no fat to speak of, and the face of an angel (you wouldn't approve of that metaphor, would you?), she complains of being a washboard. I would tell her otherwise, but i didn't want to risk a scolding from lower down. The corrections facility is really unbearable.

Your rebellious ward (wort),
starshine.