superficial depth
I'm dead beat- the same way I've been for the last few days. Winter school is so tiring but I am loving it more and more.
I went to see dear Uncle Dennis last week in the hospital, and I didn't expect to see myself cry, and I felt so foolish and concious of it that I tried my best to hold it back. The dear man didn't mind a bit, even though I thought I would mind were I in his place. But death's cruel hand was beginning to work, and I saw the sallow color, the listless physique and the mediocre appetite. I remembered what death looks like- one doesn't forget these hard biological lessons learned in a cold, clammy laboratory. Yet, death had no answer to face the grace and peace manifest in his face and I began to wonder why this man lived his life better dying than I lived it living. I reconsidered my priorities a little, loved him all the more, and he was truly grateful, holding my hand tightly as i tried hard not to make puddles on his hospital gown. I sang to him quietly, after which my dad placed a heavy hand on my back to tell me, as babe's owner had told him, that that'll do... Uncle D is to me such a testimony of the work of grace- a shout-out that whatever else I may be, I CAN be used for God in a mighty way. I love you very very much Uncle Dennis..
I am tired, I admit the struggle of old is still there- I feel so aimless at times, but at least I am happy with life as it is now. Really and truly. I just get annoyed occasionally by, well, apologies. Or over-apologies. Give me grace.
I dressed up tonight for the girl's night out and we paid a bomb eating out in a fancy place. I think we were quite over-aware of prices but it was fun and I enjoyed it for what it was. Had a bit of a laugh with 2 saras present- notice how it spells saras backward and forward? Jen was extremely amused by that.
Oh, and signage. WHY in the world would anyone have a shop named after him? WHY? The big rectangular neon sign hung over the pavement as I pointed it out to Jen and cringed. You know what she said?
Anyway, i learnt something new- "who fluffed?" means "Who farted?" and I am sorry to say that I found that tastelessly amusing.
I'm dead beat- the same way I've been for the last few days. Winter school is so tiring but I am loving it more and more.
I went to see dear Uncle Dennis last week in the hospital, and I didn't expect to see myself cry, and I felt so foolish and concious of it that I tried my best to hold it back. The dear man didn't mind a bit, even though I thought I would mind were I in his place. But death's cruel hand was beginning to work, and I saw the sallow color, the listless physique and the mediocre appetite. I remembered what death looks like- one doesn't forget these hard biological lessons learned in a cold, clammy laboratory. Yet, death had no answer to face the grace and peace manifest in his face and I began to wonder why this man lived his life better dying than I lived it living. I reconsidered my priorities a little, loved him all the more, and he was truly grateful, holding my hand tightly as i tried hard not to make puddles on his hospital gown. I sang to him quietly, after which my dad placed a heavy hand on my back to tell me, as babe's owner had told him, that that'll do... Uncle D is to me such a testimony of the work of grace- a shout-out that whatever else I may be, I CAN be used for God in a mighty way. I love you very very much Uncle Dennis..
I am tired, I admit the struggle of old is still there- I feel so aimless at times, but at least I am happy with life as it is now. Really and truly. I just get annoyed occasionally by, well, apologies. Or over-apologies. Give me grace.
I dressed up tonight for the girl's night out and we paid a bomb eating out in a fancy place. I think we were quite over-aware of prices but it was fun and I enjoyed it for what it was. Had a bit of a laugh with 2 saras present- notice how it spells saras backward and forward? Jen was extremely amused by that.
Oh, and signage. WHY in the world would anyone have a shop named after him? WHY? The big rectangular neon sign hung over the pavement as I pointed it out to Jen and cringed. You know what she said?
"It's a sign."
And she accuses me of being lame?????? (What's the sign for anyway? A yes? or a No? or a WHAT ARE YOU- OUT OF YOUR MIND?)
Anyway, i learnt something new- "who fluffed?" means "Who farted?" and I am sorry to say that I found that tastelessly amusing.
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