The space between a thought and speech
How strange this time-period feels, how stretchy ... 6 days to exams (rush, rush hurry hurry now come to me) and 18 days till I fly. How much there is to do in that span of time! Fortunately I have forgone the prospect of losing anymore weight. I am quite happy, strangely.
Nevertheless I am only 1/2 way through my notes and I really need to be done. Yes, I AM stressing but it's not premature so I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I've been making a lot of honey joy and eating a lot of honey joy... and i am going out to buy nutella. NUTELLA. with bread, with apples, with everything anyone can think of, most especially cornflakes. Ah me, I feel so distracted as it is, and so excited about year-end and about next year. But part of it freaks me out. I feel like I'm losing things, losing the wispy, elusive ends of memories I will never get back. I feel like some things I lose without knowing what they are. I woke up thinking of... thinking of.. strange- how cruel that memory can be when you know you've been denied somehow.
I finished 'White Teeth'. Irie's the one I really identify with and I never did expect a good end to such a confused novel, but I guess it's satisfactory. It's satisfying, the way I've been hung there, trying to guess, is it Millat, or Magid? Majid, or Millat? We'll never know, even in fiction, even in your logical mind, even if you try your hardest to know. The best thing is, it will be whoever you wish.
bring me back to a time-- but don't change the way it was, that's just too much.
How strange this time-period feels, how stretchy ... 6 days to exams (rush, rush hurry hurry now come to me) and 18 days till I fly. How much there is to do in that span of time! Fortunately I have forgone the prospect of losing anymore weight. I am quite happy, strangely.
Nevertheless I am only 1/2 way through my notes and I really need to be done. Yes, I AM stressing but it's not premature so I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I've been making a lot of honey joy and eating a lot of honey joy... and i am going out to buy nutella. NUTELLA. with bread, with apples, with everything anyone can think of, most especially cornflakes. Ah me, I feel so distracted as it is, and so excited about year-end and about next year. But part of it freaks me out. I feel like I'm losing things, losing the wispy, elusive ends of memories I will never get back. I feel like some things I lose without knowing what they are. I woke up thinking of... thinking of.. strange- how cruel that memory can be when you know you've been denied somehow.
I finished 'White Teeth'. Irie's the one I really identify with and I never did expect a good end to such a confused novel, but I guess it's satisfactory. It's satisfying, the way I've been hung there, trying to guess, is it Millat, or Magid? Majid, or Millat? We'll never know, even in fiction, even in your logical mind, even if you try your hardest to know. The best thing is, it will be whoever you wish.
bring me back to a time-- but don't change the way it was, that's just too much.
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