A LETTER TO MY SCREWTAPE (duct tape) FRIEND.

I cannot believe my stupidity. Here is what I did: I have been trying to update my brain on your blog and I DID NOT realise that I had to log on and click your name before I could view your entries properly. So I've been reading that stupid quiz wondering why you said got juicy stuff. SO NOW I AM DAMN LAGGY about your entries lah! ROFL.

Never mind that, it's all been rectified now. And you've caught me just right, babe. Because just reading your entries reminded me all over who you are and that I just can't help but love you. There is something very special about your cynical optimism, the way you tackle life head on, even if you don't like it, and it's suddenly nice for it to dawn on me that I know you and you know me. Very well indeed. You're a huge comfort.

I'm actually as badly backdated as "The Happy". Do you know what I found out? All the things you wrote about.. it was as if you were writing for me (when I was in clinic and was too tired to be stuffed).. SO much happened to me that was the same! It wasn't the big huge incidents, it was the small simple things that make me want to go, "Hey! Me toooooos!" And since i didn't want to be a bimbo and reply like.. 3000000 posts of yours with "hey! Me too!" I will just tell you what I mean here. To take up space on my own bit of the WWW. So polite right, nvr take up space on yours.

1. On certain wrong side of the bed days, I get pissed off at parking spots.
2. I got lost yesterday and sped the whole way home, shaking, because I had to drive into Fremantle at night. I wasn't pleased.
3. I need to win back The Happy
4. Sing like there is no tomorrow, for tomorrow your voice will be just a little better than today.
5. The nunnery is looking good to me, maybe not to you!
6. THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO GET SUCKED BACK INTO THE MOONEY PHASE. (Gan, R., Personal Communication, 2007). Well. Too late for me.
7. Getting criticised about trivialities and having the minor majored on sucks.
8. The car has a bloody sticker. Buy it for the bloody sticker! ROFL. no, I don't agree with that. I just wanted to say it.
9. The day you started on Yunho was the point of no return. Thankfully, Wuzun can be sold second hand for a literature review.
10. Hamsters on strings, or strings on hamsters rock.
11. "it's the simple and stupid things in life that make you smile. If they're just simple, or just stupid, they won't. They have to simple AND stupid." I cracked up so much. I love u! (no, you don't make me smile. you're not simple and stupid. lol!)
12. And yes, at the very same time for me, Mediocrity is Over. That's painful. But fighting hard is a good thing. I'm going to get up and get ON with it too. What is there to mince about right?

Catch you soon, cuddlefishpop.

OTHER BORING THINGS LIKE WHINING

To be honest, i skipped clinic today and called in sick. Guilty Sigh. How long more can I take this? (It's only 1 year more, right?) My lecture notes say that my literature review should "pay tribute". HUH? Hmm, that's one criteria I don't really get. Anyway, I've finally finished my Literature Review. Thank God. I've printed it and I am not going to think about it anymore.

On to Dysphagia. I feel like the most boring person on earth! I feel like I am burning out. One assignment down and another one to start on. I've never been so academically frustrated. It feels really like torture when you know you have to do everything well, including clinic.

I don't know what I want anymore. I've decided to fight on, to do what I have to, but I really am becoming too tired to do so. Who says when I get out there to work, things won't be different? How much real rest have we had in the last year? 3 days? I'm serious- even holidays are choc-a-bloc full of something. I wish there were more such precious rest days. Days when I live to rest. And live to enjoy. Can you tell I am drowning? Roar. roar. roar.

Ok, so I am sadded. but I've got to go and do something about it. Like play the piano, or study dysphagia. Like Rachel says, mediocrity must end.