|There was a time I was lost I was blind
I was searching for something I could not find.
Nowhere to go there I was all alone,
there was no one to carry me.
That’s when he came and he called out my name
Just a touch of his hand took away my shame.| |Rachael Lampa- Savior song|

Heh heh. So schleepy. Just that after all hell erupted on Thursday and Friday, I think I’m in heaven now. Church was the bestest. All that rubbish happening to me has caused me to make a decision for the better, and I’m closer to God than ever. I realized that He really really really loved me more than I could ever imagine, and I was foolish to think that even for a moment He was a passive God. MmMmm… delicious feeling… that I’m really truly treasured by God, who is the biggest and most fantabulous being in the world. He’s big and I’m small but He wants me anyway. He really wants me. He wants to know me for who I am, He treasures my personality in a place where I find people willing to help but not willing to become friends. I have an indescribably peace, and the joy’s just overflowing. I wish everyone out there was as fortunate as I am now. I wish I could pass you some of the sweetness that’s just overflowing my life.

Now, that doesn’t mean the situation’s changed. It’s just that I have changed. And the situation WILL change. SiGhz… I feel like I’m in a really nice place. I’m pretty high right now, and it’s not sugar, caffine or anything. It’s God.

Just contented… I didn’t even do much work, and I have to catch up on the studying I didn’t do today… haiz, but it’s worth it. I had a great day in church.

Hahas. You know, peeps think I’m smart cos I take calculus, but actually that’s a serious myth. I mean, I study well and everything, but I can be such a goose sometimes. Like today, I made such a funny mistake you would have thought I was MiTsUkA. (sorry babe. It was SO you.) I went to get a drink at the water cooler, and it had this box on top of it, over which hung a sign that said, “Upside down cups are clean.” And there was nothing in the box. And I just stood there dumbly staring at the box wondering, “What upside down cups?? Where are the cups?” And I just continued to look into the box (as if cups would appear) and I was gawking until Keith said, “the cups are here.” And I was like, “oh.” Then my gaze fell to the table BESIDE the cooler where there stood a multitude of cups. Fine. I take calculus. Sue me.

Haiya haiya. Haven’t spoken to my best since when?!?! *serious withdrawal symptoms* *cough, sneeze, wheeze, whine, snap, cry, bawl, sob, AtChOOooo* Especially Lydia. Just thought about you quite a lot today. Rachel too. I thought about calling, then I thought I’d just get online and take my chances. After all, I got to sleep pretty early. Can’t talk so long so no point also. However, tomorrow will be a weekday night and I’m reluctant to call then. What say, my co-conspirator? (cassius-san, lala-san)

Thanks to pops for the help with the math. I finished it! Sugoi desune! Daddykins is still the best! Dun be lonely okok? You’ll be here soon.
Heh heh. I’m still amazed at the number of interchangeable names for my best. Even daddykins is confused at which refers to who. Yes OkAmI san? MiTeI? Ok lar. Dun irritate everybody liaoz. But go figure out who is who lar. Have fun.

Eh, where’s Sotong?? I’m Sosososososo sorrie for not writing. Actually, it’s because I don’t know what to say but to quote what irritating Joshua said all week in camp last year. “The truth will set you free.” So… other than that, I don’t know what to say to you… and it’s not in jest- I’m serious. I recognize it’s a tough thing to do but I do ask you to consider… it’s one of your best options. Smile ok?

Shuling arh… Heh. Still not used to your new layout. Say, you very eng hor? Got so much time to change your stuffs. I took the what kind of shoe are you test and came out as leather boots. I like boots. Anyway, I pray God blesses with you with patience and that in abundance. Know you want that. Not easy. Hmm. Wonder what I’d do if I were you?

Darling, (which one? There are 2.) ermz. The TKD one. Just hope you’re not too tired there in VJ… I know school sucks there too… I will call you soon ok? I’m so so thankful for you and Lydia, to whom I am truly myself and to whom I don’t hide my feelings or change the way I act. With whom I am real and it still hurts to think about the times us 3 were just existing together. We ate together, thought together, talked, laughed, cried and did all the things 3 best friends would do. I don’t regret a moment of it- only that we couldn’t have more. I may have said it once and I’ll say it again. Rachel Mitsuka Gan, you are the absolute BEST!

Darling number 2, but by no means inferior to the above darling, I keep thinking about the time on new year’s eve, when you performed the song of the 4 seasons by Nichole Nordeman. I was SO proud of you! I can still see you now, everytime I stare into a reflection, I see you in that leafy dress just twirling… Hurts a bit. Wish I was home with you. We’d go to church together again. We will, ok! Lydia Teo Mei Ting, just you wait! 23rd November! Don’t you ever give up, no matter what you’re going through!

Sighz sighz, I have to go to school tomorrow, but I will definitely face it with more courage and I will disregard what people have to say about my oh so personal life. I remember in camp last year when Errol said me and LC were like a Chinese drama serial. I laughed so hard then, but now the idea of “interactive drama serial” where people can just poke fun at me when they like just irks me. Nevertheless, there’s nothing that can be done but for me to face up to it better. And I will.

Random quote of the day: The banana that leaves the bunch gets eaten.

And so I leave thee, as J. Chee would leave thee, with a big, fat, “BOOYA!”

Au revoir. ;)