Thursday, January 06, 2005

Desperation
Don't ask about the title. I don't know why either. perhaps... It's because all I have to connect me to my world and the place where I've left my heart is the internet? It's not that there's nothing to do. It's the fear that I'll run out of things to do before March.

2005. My world is going to spin again. I've got till March to buckle up. I've got one hope, one foundation, no fear and a big box of chocolates. Close my eyes and fly. Just like last year. Just like how you get on a scary ride and your nightmare comes true- and you open your eyes to find yourself hurling out of control into the starless sky. This time, it's slightly different. This time, I'm looking foward to it. =) Because something in me lives and breathes. Something that carries me through it all.

I remember when I first came to Australia and found myself in a raging war of everything. School. Friends. Food. Homework. emotions. I remember how I crouched in a corner and let everything take over me. How I wasted my tears in self pity. And how he came. And lifted me. Above it all... Looking back, I regret that I didn't enjoy the rocky ride more with him by my side. He was driving, but all I could do was close my eyes and say... +`[HuRrY Up]`+! I should have screamed like they scream on those scary rides... screamed my lungs out for the thrill of it and laughed till my sides hurt. I'm gonna try that this year. =)

I've just finished the shirts and the blue glitter's run out. Fortunately, court jester, there was enough for your name to come out nicely. Mine's a bit wonky, due to the paint coughing away like it's got a furball stuck in it's throat. It causes a fair bit of blotching, you know, but I managed. =) such is the strength of a woman. wahaha.

The air con's on and I'm lying on my bed in a heroic effort to ward off the heat. I love air con! (yes, I realise this was first said by Rachel, but then again, some phish are more equal than others.)

sigh. I'm tired. (yes, I know that the court Jester likes to say this about a million times a day. I like the bells on your hat. I'm sure lala does too!)

Jola... is still asleep! Ah wells, haven't eaten much today.. youghurt with grapes and 3 cookies! maybe I should raid the fridge? Darling Daddy is coming home early to save me the trauma of eating my own cooking. To save himself too! *wink* haha. Mum called. She's buying me CD's!!!! *does a little dance* yappari! okaasan wa sugoi desune! Arigatou nee~

kk la, better prepare for papa's arrival. Head of the house, know? haaha...

Jaa.

+_`[Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed.]`+


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