*-[The Quality of Mercy is not Strained]`+
As quoth dearest Billy Shakespeare.
It's not difficult to know that this is true of my Lord Jesus,
but the same cannot be said of I and my mortal race.
Mercy runs dry from humanity so many times,
In the eyes of those who've grown hard, bitter, and cold.
In the gritted smile and forced handshake of an old acquaintance,
In the scheming minds and accusing tongues of all of us,
and in the too-fast words and decisions we make.
Because it is not by my love which I love
Not my grace by which I forgive.
It is God, love personified, who gives me the capacity to love,
and it is also him whose grace is sufficent for me,
who allows me to give of his grace through me to others.
His strength made perfect in my weakness.
It's his light that shines through my darkness...

It's begun to hurt me more than I expected. The mistake (and no small one, I assure you) has begun to dole out consequences a lot more generously than the paycheck one gets every month when bankrupt. I think a reverse would be nice. (They with more money and I with less consequences.) I suppose one could put it down to my folly, absurd stupidity, my abominable lack of judgement that certainly cannot be overlooked. I accept the blame for the knotting together of the situation, but I know that it doesn't help at all for what I've done, nor will it change the consequences. In hope that wretched feelings and spilt milk will not be the undoing of everything, I'll hide the pain it causes me and smile instead. There's never something you don't learn from.

Gastritis seems to be the latest fad my body's taken to.
I wake up in the mornings feeling like a blimp.
Wish it was helium instead...
Then I could fly instead of walk.
I've been having these increasingly strange dreams.
They perturb me severely.
I really hope they're random ones.
Chocolate-honey covered mexican jumping beans?
I don't know what to make of it...
I thank the Lord for friends who love me.
The two who've TRULY been there
THICK and THIN.
Even when I've been the annoying one.
The one who just talks and talks
And then cries. and worries too much.
I want to thank you two, my besties,
for listening, for loving me still.
Rachel the Phish
and Lydia the pinky pig.
Like they always say, Love is when you know a person's faults and still accept them.
And I want to remember to say a big thank you every so often,
lest I take you forgranted.
I Love You babes!

[And the sun every morning can not wait to shine
And the stars every evening are all standing by to light the sky
Give the rocks and the stones voices of their own
If we forget to sing praises to our King.]
*-[He's the only one to whom praise is due. JC's in the house.]`+