Guess what I was doing tonight. Guess! I was reading through all my old letters from my babes. My gosh... I didn't realise that time is gone so fast and yet is so near.. I really wanna go back. I feel caught sometimes, and imprisoned... and I just feel that what you say is so true.. that in my heart of hearts... things have not changed between us.

I still wonder why we didn't happily skip off and have our own contented lives.. but I am very glad we never did, because when I needed you most you were there for me. I am ever so grateful for all of you.. Lyd, Rach, Shu.. and Avvy too...

I think about my two babes more and more.. sometimes it scares me that our memories are becoming more and more surreal.. I can't seem to remember everything correctly- and for some strange reason it has become a queer sort of desperate game I play.. to make sure I can still remember. Rachel doesn't like eggs. Lydia hates nagging. I feel the need to force myself to remember what the MRT station looks like, which escalator goes up, and which goes down.. which stops come first and in what order.. It's like forcing myself to remember the world I was from because I didn't want to lose it. I feel so distanced sometimes...Especially those lazy mornings that I wake up... half asleep still, and I think about these things and try to remember. It's like a virtual tour in my head. And I think my heart is bleeding.

Rachel says that I am unashamed to pen my feelings, and it's true... to say that sometimes there is that longing to go back so bad.. That I don't wanna miss a thing there.. that I wanna go thru fire and water with you.. who else??? Who else would I celebrate life with?? haha~ with whom have I laughed more, cried more and connected with more? Of whom do I dream of? think of? Write to?? I have so many names for you now.. babes, daHlings (the british way), girls, best, favourites?? haha.

I miss you I miss you.

More than you think. But then you miss me more than I think right? So i think it's all good. =)