*-[Overcome]`+

I've lost a friend. He's the first of all my friends to go, and the most unlikely one to go at that. I cried at first in disbelief, then in regret that I never said goodbye. Worse still, I cried so hard because I never told him the answers to the questions he had. I just didn't have the guts, or I just procrastinated. I was so wrong, and now I've lost a friend to all eternity. It's too high a price to pay.

Grant was close to me in a strange way, and the more I think about it, the more memories come back. I see his name in my offline list of friends on MSN, and I can't understand that he won't ever come online.

I noticed him when I first came to Murdoch College, and he was one of the first people to make life easier for me in Murdoch. I learned how to use my graphics calculator because of Grant, I learnt how to laugh out loud in Bio and Chem because of Grant, regardless of what the teachers said. We made silly doodles and he always had something to say to make life fun. Happy go lucky to no end, I cannot imagine that he would have chosen to end his own life. Grant, if you'd known how much all of us would cry, grieve and struggle, would you have done it? Weren't we friends enough for that last lunch or coffee? That goodbye call? You PROMISED me you'd call me. You PROMISED me that coffee. And I regret not making you meet me.

Grant always believed in having fun. Maybe that accounted for his carefree exterior, but inside I have always known that there were questions he asked. And although he never asked them, I should have supplied the answers anyway. I should have told him that the weird emptiness he tried to fill with friends, alcohol, and whatever else was a square peg in a round hole. I should have told him that The only thing that keeps me going is God! I should have made him understand more clearly that I don't own a religion, I own a relationship. I should have told him that what God is is a Friend and a Father. I should have told him straight to the point that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and He's the only one who can save us from eternal suffering. Jesus is the one who Fills that void in my soul. He's the only one who gives meaning to my life. He's the only one who Gives me purpose, MAKES ME TRULY HAPPY. Think about it. Have you ever been truly blissfully wonderfully happy? Have you ever be fully content? With problems but at perfect peace? If you havent found your answers, if that emptiness is there, please, find your answers where I GUARANTEE you'll find rest. In Jesus... And if you want to know ANYTHING at all, please please please I beg you, drop me a note: chiizu_keki@hotmail.com Even if you have no idea who I am. And MORE SO if you do know who I am. Question me, make me cry, I'd rather have a bombarded inbox than to have anyone of you left empty-handed. I've lost Grant, and I can't afford to lose anyone of you, especially those who are close to me You know I'm talking to you.

Grant, I can't have you back although I wish so much I could. But I don't want to let your death be in vain. If only you'd stayed around long enough to enjoy life in the way that I have. That's why I've cried all yesterday and this morning, and I don't know when I'll stop. You don't know how much you mean to me. That comes as a surprise, because I didn't know how much you meant until now either. That 'seeya' or 'take care' doesn't suffice now, all I can do is stand speechless and inside I feel like screaming.. I feel like getting you back somehow. And yes, I'd rather be the one to go if only you'd promise me you'd discover Jesus.

Dear God, I trust in your good and perfect will and yet I grieve so much for the loss of this dear friend who's played the fragile game of life and lost. For whatever reason you've allowed this, let it not be in vain. And if I might be so bold as to ask: Lord, please let Grant be in that better place. You're a just and faithful God, please, I ask Lord, be gracious...Give me the courage to do what I should, to tell it like it is, and comfort me... I can't stop crying... I tossed and turned with this song, and the urgency of appeal is apparant to me now.

I woke up from dreaming
I returned a call from a friend of mine,
she sounded really lonely
But I had somewhere to be
I said I'll call you later
'Cause I really need to go, I can't be late,
she'll be okay, this is important
Then I forgot completely

[Bridge:]You can be who you choose to be
But whether you do, or whether you don't
Depends on your priority
And I know that it's not easy

[Chorus:]
I'm looking for the peace to find some sleep tonight
'Cause I'm
Not very proud of the way I have lived today
But if I choose to
Follow Him along the way
Then maybe I won't look back
Feel like time is gonna pass me by
Then maybe I won't look back

[Bridge 2:]
On those days I could of said something
In those times when help was needed I was busy
I was within the words to see the moment is good
In some way I could have been something
I thought I was done with a simple smile, but I was selfish
But if I change my heart today, tomorrow it may be okay
And maybe I won't look back

I woke up from a nightmare
Where I was talking down this street, invisible and no one else could see me
All my chances were gone
I can't get your attention
I've had many things to say, but never tried, afraid you wouldn't listen
Should of done it all differently

[Bridge]
You can be who you choose to be
But whether you do, or whether you don't
Depends on your priority
Lord help me to choose wisely

[Chorus]
I'm looking for the peace to find some sleep tonight
'Cause I'm
Not very proud of the way I have lived today
But if I choose to
Follow Him along the way
Then maybe I won't look back
Feel like time is gonna pass me by
Then maybe I won't look back

[Bridge 2]
On those days I could of said something
In those times when help was needed I was busy
I was within the words to see the moment is good
In some way I could have been something
I thought I was done with a simple smile, but I was selfish
But if I change my heart today, tomorrow it may be okay
And maybe I won't look back

[Rap:]
I can't hold back, I can't be shy
This is my big chance to be living the life, I gotta
Stand up strong and take the ride
Throw all those useless excuses aside
So much to do, I got a lot to say

I don't always understand but I'll gonna follow anyway
'Cause there is a bigger plan, a destiny
I can't waste this precious time

[Chorus]
I'm looking for the peace to find some sleep tonight
'Cause I'mNot very proud of the way I have lived today
But if I choose to
Follow Him along the way
Then maybe I won't look back
Feel like time is gonna pass me by
Then maybe I won't look back

[Bridge 2]
On those days I could of said something
In those times when help was needed I was busy
I was within the words to see the moment is good
In some way I could have been something
I thought I was done with a simple smile, but I was selfish
But if I change my heart today, tomorrow it may be okay
And maybe I won't look back
Then maybe I won't look back [x2]

[In tears, Grant, you still owe me that Lunch]