I can't believe it. I'm upset again. Over nothing. Over the fact that I have the best friends in the world and now that I am talking to lydia all the tension that has built up is just unwinding and i'm finding myself normalising again. And crying, just because. There's no other way to say this because I have no idea what is going on in my very tangled set of emotions. I'm half happy half sad, half remniscient and half not wanting to rememeber, because it's the happy things that hurt you most.
I came back from school so forlorn and so lonely... and the tension that had built in me was one that I was unaware of. I didn't know that I was all irate from having to try to be nice to people and from putting on the painfully polite face all over when it was just a big old grin or a scowl behind it. I think that's what painfully polite means. It's not good for the soul. But I can't seem to be myself with so many people that it's actually very irritating. And very relieving to talk to Lydia. Finally it was like some trace of normality returning. And I just want to cry.
I will leave it as it is. This will not go away if I stress about it. Homesickness hath no true cure, lest you be forsaken by your beloved (or beloveds)and you want to start over again... but the funny thing is that I'm building a new home in a place I may never see thru my brown eyes as home.
Oh, girl! I'm just so glad that you were there, even for a while just to talk to me. I love you for everything you are and everything I know I see in you. Everything true, kind, and right in God's sight, all your weaknesses and your habits. I can never really say how thankful I am to our heavenly father for giving you to me. I have truly been blest, with two of the best.
Rachel, for the things you've taught me, for the lessons we've learnt together, the dragons we've slayed together (growls at chinese) and the laughs, tears, chocolates, chips and anime we've had. For true friendship, for faithfulness and loyalty... for everything you are, even if you don't see what it is.
I love you two!
I came back from school so forlorn and so lonely... and the tension that had built in me was one that I was unaware of. I didn't know that I was all irate from having to try to be nice to people and from putting on the painfully polite face all over when it was just a big old grin or a scowl behind it. I think that's what painfully polite means. It's not good for the soul. But I can't seem to be myself with so many people that it's actually very irritating. And very relieving to talk to Lydia. Finally it was like some trace of normality returning. And I just want to cry.
I will leave it as it is. This will not go away if I stress about it. Homesickness hath no true cure, lest you be forsaken by your beloved (or beloveds)and you want to start over again... but the funny thing is that I'm building a new home in a place I may never see thru my brown eyes as home.
Oh, girl! I'm just so glad that you were there, even for a while just to talk to me. I love you for everything you are and everything I know I see in you. Everything true, kind, and right in God's sight, all your weaknesses and your habits. I can never really say how thankful I am to our heavenly father for giving you to me. I have truly been blest, with two of the best.
Rachel, for the things you've taught me, for the lessons we've learnt together, the dragons we've slayed together (growls at chinese) and the laughs, tears, chocolates, chips and anime we've had. For true friendship, for faithfulness and loyalty... for everything you are, even if you don't see what it is.
I love you two!
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