Man. I went blog surfing with Blogger's new installation: the button that says, [next blog]. I keep coming up with either spanish blogs (shd I surf until I come up with a jap one?) (would be fantastic for learning stuff.) or blogs that debate religion, all of which I have viewed are christian! Why is God so debated?

I guess it's cos people know He's there, but they can't reach Him. I think that's what Tommy Tenney meant in the God chasers when He said that people are hungry for God but we just weren't listening or helping them, cos as Christians we've been far too complacent as well. We've stood in the church going, "God is here" and people come to find him and they fail because we haven't done our job in searching for God... In inviting His manifest presence into our church and our lives. I want more. I want crazy more! Charmaine talks about obsession. That people really can't live without a goal. That being aimless sucks. And I know that's true, because once you run after God and catch a glimpse of Him, you just want to be able to hang on to his cloak.. to run so hard and so far after him, just to feel Him, to KNOW him, not to know ABOUT him. I have a knot in my heart, a knot of dissatisfaction. Of not having enough of God, of wanting more more more.. crazy more. Because HE SATISFIES. And when you've found and tasted of him, you'll find that you don't want anything else. That everything else that used to work for you just doesn't cut it any more. That just spending time with Him can make you cry for joy, literally. That instead of doing the things you usually do, you find yourself starved for Him. For one so great. For one you've never seen. For one who makes you tremble and cry in the twinkle of an eye. For one who loves you so so much you'll never ever be satisfied with anything else. For God and God alone.

And you find yourself bound, addicted, hopelessly in LOVE. And you never want it to end. It's like a tea party in the gazebo, going round and round and round on that merry go round... for some reason, I've seen this in my mind so many times. And I love it. I love the comfort it brings, as well as the challenge. I asked God for passion, and I know it's coming to me, in waves so strong and fast, and I know that if I press on, and press into Him, I'll come to a place where I'll never long again. I'll never lack. If I yield to Him, if I die to myself, I know I'll find something so precious and wonderful that I would be willing to lose sleep over it. I've read about it, I've heard about it, and now I want it for myself. I want it and I want it bad. If this is what you mean by obsession, then yes, I've got one too. Like the rest of the world with its beautiful people in it. But the funny thing with my obsession is that... It's going to last into eternity. And that's really beautiful.

Picture this: In my lightest flowing orange summer dress, in a field with white flowers... wind blowing, leaves flying, just walking effortlessly by myself. Hair that flows and ruffles with the wind but never tangles. Feet that are bare but never tire of walking, Eyes that are always bright. And a joy in the spring of the step. I think that's how I'd describe how I feel right now. =) I'm truly happy.

It's been a while since i shared my heart here. But it's not always prudent to do so on the net. (the implication of the www is very... large?) Also, I haven't been able to pour out myself here recently, because I've become so much more aware of the people who have access to these pages... Nevertheless, I couldn't care less anymore. =) Have a really good night, all you wonderful peeps out there! (yes, even you.)*winkz*