Diary of a Roman Ruler. (Nonono! Not Pompey!)
The Ides of March are Come (15th March, XX b.c.)

3 a.m by the eastern sundial. Always slow, cursed clock.

"Nor heaven nor earth have been at peace tonight. Thrice hath Calphurnia in her sleep cried out, 'Help, ho! They murder Caesar!' Who's Within?" If she hath not woken me by her snore, she hath done so by her sleep-talk. Perhaps I should do well to think of separate rooms. How should one break such wretched news. My Calphurnia, i prithee, be magnanimous. Mine eyebags are large, like choler filled bags. Apothecaries cure them not, only sleep's magic will sooth this wretched man. Oh, and you kick in your sleep too.

Curses, I hear a faint noise. Patience, while I turn my head that I might hear. It is Calphurnia; I shudder to think what woe should befall me should she chance upon this! Surely it is fools that marry. That worthless poet, his name escapes me..Cinna, perhaps? He did chance to hold a gem of wisdom when he chose to be bachelor over married man. Hark, it is she! Haste now, I shut this and will return swiftly.

8.30 am, west sundial.

I have consulted with mine beauteous wife, who beseeches me not to stir forth today. (Women and their dumb nightmares) Yea, I did tell her (like a man) "Caesar shall forth! The things that threatened me Ne'er looked but on my back; when they shall see the face of Caesar, they are vanished." Does she think me a coward? Signs, says she, says the woman. Though I love her so, she doth vex a man something terrible. Even more, the augurers found not a heart within the offering beast. Those chinese merchants must have stolen it yesterday while they slept fast. Never will I understand their taste for offal. Vile! And these augurers, have they no brains? Time and again their sacrifices have been vandalised, yet they take them for signs, exclaming supernatural powers. This trickery, will it never end? Aah, this is the reason for my success; common sense and humility brings great power!

I have thus made my stand within my heart of hearts. I shall not humour my love; wisdom and confidence must forth- my senate needeth me. Besides, I wanted to try that new chinese stall that opened behind the Senate House. That 'kway chap' dish is praiseworthy, though I know not what is within. Perchance Brutus would like to join with me. He was always one to eat of another culture's, although that Haggis did make him wildly ill. Calphurnia would have me touch none of it; wretched epilepsy, it spoilth mine dining joys.

Ah, the boys arrive to greet me. Even Antony, stone drunk last night, comes to pay respect. Surely I was born to be leader in this place! Veni Vidi Vici! (note to self: Doesn't work on women.) I forth! Good day!

Haha, this one's for Rachie. Love ya girl, hope it reminds ya of the good old days, where falling off our chairs together were a common occurance. Cheers!

[That's as much as to say they are fools that marry. You'll bear me a bang for that, I fear.]