I am sitting in Macdonalds and I have just had my first hash brown in a long time. It was the same number of calories (153) as my muesli bar, so I decided to eat it instead of my muesli bar. Some time for serious reflection has been much needed. Finally, half an hour of peace.. I must try to settle myself a little more.
My parents took me out for a special dinner while Dennis went to lifegroup on Friday. It was such a special time for us, and I could see how they so dearly treasured me, and I them. We made funny jokes over dinner and shared all our food in merry go round fashion at Kai's. For the first time in 2 years I felt like their kid again, with not a care in the world, not worrying over money, not wanting anything other than to be happy with them near me. It is a sweet time for us, I wished it didn't end and that I would never forget it.
I packed alot of my belongings into brown boxes on the weekend. It felt foreign, bare, like I was taking apart the seams of my life. I know I am moving out to be with the man I love, the dream I have always had, right? And now, I can't bear to go. The love and warmth of my parents.. Hopefully when I move out things will be better than I imagine. I made them promise to exercise and have honeymoons without me.
I've begged Dennis to lighten up on our church commitments during this delicate time. I wish too that I was a superwoman and was able to keep going on through this time in our life- but it is a delicate time that needs fostering and real care, or we will undo ourselves in this union. He has agreed. I would not mind continuing the degree of my service if I had real friends in church here. But it just drains me since I have to hide my heart and the way I feel during this time of change- that is so tiring! I must pretend to be happy, or I get funny responses. I wish I had more SG friends here.. It's nice that pingchat has helped though.
my work friends have been lovely. I wish it never to end, that all of us would be happy working together here and be able to continue our contracts.. I am afraid what happens in January..
My parents took me out for a special dinner while Dennis went to lifegroup on Friday. It was such a special time for us, and I could see how they so dearly treasured me, and I them. We made funny jokes over dinner and shared all our food in merry go round fashion at Kai's. For the first time in 2 years I felt like their kid again, with not a care in the world, not worrying over money, not wanting anything other than to be happy with them near me. It is a sweet time for us, I wished it didn't end and that I would never forget it.
I packed alot of my belongings into brown boxes on the weekend. It felt foreign, bare, like I was taking apart the seams of my life. I know I am moving out to be with the man I love, the dream I have always had, right? And now, I can't bear to go. The love and warmth of my parents.. Hopefully when I move out things will be better than I imagine. I made them promise to exercise and have honeymoons without me.
I've begged Dennis to lighten up on our church commitments during this delicate time. I wish too that I was a superwoman and was able to keep going on through this time in our life- but it is a delicate time that needs fostering and real care, or we will undo ourselves in this union. He has agreed. I would not mind continuing the degree of my service if I had real friends in church here. But it just drains me since I have to hide my heart and the way I feel during this time of change- that is so tiring! I must pretend to be happy, or I get funny responses. I wish I had more SG friends here.. It's nice that pingchat has helped though.
my work friends have been lovely. I wish it never to end, that all of us would be happy working together here and be able to continue our contracts.. I am afraid what happens in January..
