I tried on my new dress and went to test it out in Curtin.

It works!

=)

All the crappy inane things

I don't know why, but I'm suddenly amused by noticing little things for no reason. Things like:
1. I have to type in '@gmail.com' to get into blogger now.
2. If you don't pluck those red chillis in the garden, they'll just grow soggy and taste gross.
3. I have a vampire bite on my right forearm. (more about that later!)
4. I have to pay a late fee for not enrolling online in Curtin! WHARGH!
5. The reflection of me in the microwave is slimming.

How inane is that? I feel like the world isn't quite real today, and that my head is somewhere else. (It usually is, it's just that I seem to realise it today.)

I got my blood test done today to validate my vaccinations and to prove to Curtin that that horrible disease I seem to remember having indeed did occur and was in fact Varicella. (I know it sounds too much like vermicelli to be chicken pox, but it is.) So on top of the mantoux test that looks like a small pimple too afraid to erupt (please stay that way! Or shrink!), I have a tiny needle point where the lab technician fished about with a needle to find my vein. I am so not kidding about that, she literally poked it in and did a fan dance with it to find a way into my apparently thick vein. See! I'm not thick skinned, just thick veined.

I look like I have been bitten by a vampire. An educated one, or otherwise a very blind one. Everyone knows that the biggest artery with the freshest blood is the aorta, but for those who choose to snack, the brachial artery offers a less profuse blood flow for the calorie counters. Lick your lips, help your hips!

kuakuakua.

The person who would say that best would be Tiffany. =)

It is never as bad as you think. Just as you imagine yourself utterly thrown, defeated, in want of nothing but the passing of time into the next part of your life, just as you pretend that your heart is so broken it will never function, just as you want to think that it is all dispairingly, painfully over and that the world has ceased to turn, stop. Not quite- it stops itself, you see. Or something stops you.

Perhaps it is the children that play on the pavement below you, double dutch and hop scotch. Or the couple in the corner, laughing, crying, living, disagreeing and holding hands. The toddler on the swing, fear and delight escaping her little lungs all at once, or the look in a mother's eyes when her child trips over a stone.

Doesn't it stop you? When all else has, when all else has ceased (or seized) you and squeezed the breathless life out of you, won't you let something this small stop you? Stop! And realise that it is never as bad as you think it is.

Some things in life will bowl you over with a feather; so great is their power from so small an effort. A mother who kneels by her sleeping child's bed, a father whose tears fall in compassion, regret, heartache and great love. Some things come at you with guns and knives and you play along, you silly fool, you play along and you fall. These things have pain written all over them, they come with warning, you know their plan. Yet you, I, we fall, all at once, and succumb to the wrong things with the lesser power. If only we could recognise the subtle authority of love and learn to recognise it all the time.

Then, without doubt, we would feast daily our eyes and souls on Love, on Him, and not on the silly arrows we shoot at each other, unknowingly, knowingly, painfully, intentionally, unintentionally.

So if you ever think you have come to the end of the line, that the last song has been sung and you've heaped the last straw on your camel's back, tarry. Tarry just a little while. Look out your window, or drive to the nearest hospital, playground, pottery house, florist, or what have you. Scroll down a yahoo newspage. Watch. Watch as the world carries on inspite of it all, inspite of you, really. And know that the God who will not let a sparrow fall without His consent will lovingly gather you in His comforting shadow.

For what are shadows, really, when they can be reduced to dots? (ref.- Mr. God, this is Anna) And in the same way, how much more can we be expanded? The final expansion is none other than the Creator Himself.

Blessing, Honour, Glory and Power, Forever.

Sepia

The sky has turned a strange yellow here, and my heart washes over with memories for no reason. Maybe the smell of rain hitting the pavement means something to me. I miss my grandparents. There is something sad about that house in Section 17, something homely, something painful, something enduring. I find myself thinking, dreaming, blinking. For half a second, I am not where I am. I am back in KL or in a strange Singapore, and the mesh of time haunts me, preventing me from reaching yesterday. After 3 years, I still feel my loss keenly, my displacement, my grief. Home will not be home for a while yet, and only time will dim the memories I have that make it what it is. But time is my enemy and I fight it yet, straining to recall again and again yesterday's laughter.

Why so melancholic? Forgive my weakness.

Will you love me in December as you do in May,
Will you love me in the good old fashioned way?
When my hair has all turned gray,
Will you kiss me then and say,
That you love me in December as you do in May?
~James J. Walker

Sweet.

I went to Supre today with Denise. Awesome stuff!
Why do green chillis turn red?
I made yummy desert that everyone is under oath not to touch! I should remove it from the pan now.
I sent Rachel ridiculous SMSes. =)
I washed the car.
I printed vaccination forms.
I am ready to be needled. *grits teeth and closes eyes*

Dear God please let me be immune to every disease!

Who Wears the Pants Around Here Anyway?

I was ironing (e-ron-ing) papa's pants when I discovered they had a huge hole in them. So I stopped ironing it (to continue would be a waste of electricity) and put them on instead. I skulked to papa in his study and hands akimbo, asked, "Who wears the pants around here?" He looked up from his newspaper and said, "Hmm?" Mission unaccomplished, I showed off my baggy pants to my mum. She said she would cut them to make a pair of shorts for pa. But I am wearing them now. So there's naught to be done about it.

I just felt like being whacko for no reason. I even messaged Rachel silly things in Paragon and she laughed out loud, causing people to look at her strangely. Of all the things I have accomplished today, that was the most rewarding, I think. Rachel don't kill me! But a little bee told me you have poor aim so it's ok! :p AHHHH *Sara runs away from the wrath of Rachel*

"O! be some other name: What's in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." - William Shakespeare

The Sinus Mandate.

In Loving Memory of Kirby.

1996-2007

I remember the year you came to us. A salesman brought you and showed you off, your skill, your maneuverability, your silent class. We took you, for a whopping $3000 and you became our very own butler. My parents charged you with the mandate of keeping dust at bay; you were supposed to keep me from getting bouts of sinusitis. I grew to love you over the years. You were a creature of class, you never ran- only walked, and your heavy handling was something we all got used to. I don't know when it was that your legs started to give you problems, but I remember we got that horrid french maid in. Oh, how I hated her sass and her colorful way of misplacing everything she bumped into. That OSIM mermaid, we got rid of her soon after, but your health continue to deteriorate. We hospitalised you in the closet where it was cooler and I closed the door on you for the last time in late 2006. That's when the green goblin came along. He ambushed me when I returned from Singapore for a holiday and I was unpleasantly surprised to see his brash self sitting smugly next to kirby. Who are you? Said I. He looked at me. I snarled back. As it turns out, the green goblin comes with a long, heavy yellow wire. I hate it. So I fought with it, while we were meant to be fighting dust together. What a tussle we had in the office, at the corners, behind doors and around corners. And it bit me till I bled, the horrid thing. I ran for the screwdriver and unhinged the teeth, and I fought and I screamed and wrestled. All the while I thought of Kirby, my good old butler, my gallant knight, my silent fighter against the wiles of the mini dirt. And though you haven't hacked your last, you are like a vegetable in your little corner and I love you best because you were a wonderful butler. One of these days, you'll come back to us and we'll get rid of that horrid green goblin, aye? He's a biter!

AAAARRRRRHGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRR. I'll get you you goblin. Just you wait!

P.s. they're all my vacuum cleaners. =)

A Bazaar in Tyre.

I have been in this alleyway for some time now. My arm hurts. I see the darkness beyond the far wall, but it doesn't scare me. I am tired, numb, defensively resistent. There is something hopeful about these closed, locked doors. Perhaps it is the fact that they are doors, that doors by virtue of being doors, open. Perhaps it is this foolish hope that binds me, the hope that the reality behind these doors are not portrayed by the doors themselves. I lean gingerly against one, the creaking betraying my presence mournfully, a siren into the silence. The rusted chain imposes into the small of my back and the cold metal chills my spine. Invisible creatures scurry away, senses heightened to the stranger. I slide myself downward, and sit in the dust. Then it appears. Of mixed decent, and hardly persian, it paws it's way through the dusty alley and stops, stately in the centre, a questioning glance at me. But I don't bother it for even a second. It turns and holds court in it's own silent way- this scarce alley is it's kingdom. Ears high like a blended crown, spine straight and eyes bright. It's a mongrel of a cat, I'm sure, but this is it's world. I am awed that I, a stranger, should be allowed to witness the daily confines of such a palace. It will be a timeless moment, a ticket to the finer moments in life, to a reality of harsh tragedy and fierce dignity. It invokes pity, pain, and awe all in one feeling, a blueish mix of truth and emotion. How much does a cat know? The gleam in Hayao Miyazaki's eye would tell you that they are not to be underestimated, and that is to say the least.

Dearest Su,
I've thought about you intermittently these weeks, with great sadness and joy all at once. The empty hole you leave I will not grasp until the TK auditions come up. Then I believe the full measure of your missing stoicism, wry humour and apt statements will come into view. The abruptness of you absence seems cruel, but I trust the Lord has plans for you. It was so awesome having you here, and getting involved in theatre because of you, having fun with you when time allowed. This year's planetshakers really made me miss you. You were such a good navigatress and an even better companion. I now own heaps of studio ghibli anime because of you. And I will always remember the pork-bun prince! I learnt so much cantonese rubbish there!

I'm grateful for the thoughtfulness in leaving me your weights. (No doubt they were heavy.. :p) If I fly into KL end of this year, we may meet again, but meanwhile, you ARE terribly missed and I love you in my own funny way. I wish you were here and I know you wish it too. Hang in there with your chin up, girl. You will see better days for our God is a good God.

The sun began to set just as I placed it on the table. It's beautiful.

Closing Time.
I know who I want to take me home.

I know that is such an emotional song, but I couldn't help hearing it in my head when I read it on Avvy's blog. I know that 2007's just come, I know everything's opened, and nothing's closing. I know I am not being reasonable to think about closing time. But in some ways I do. I want closing time because it is a time of resolution, a time for giving away and letting go. Albeit sad, closing time implies closure.

Not yet, it's not time to close. It's not time to sigh. It's not time to be lazy.. yet.

Were you loved first, and more?

Can I be loved first, and more?

I feel so bad, being loved first, and more.

Do you really want to love me first, and more?

I finally saw avvy today and we tried to be camwhores but it didn't really work out until we began to explore the range of human emotion. Other than happy and sad, there is "Who turned off the lights?", "That is so lame, can?", "Spastic!!!", "I'm not drinking that!", "SALE!", "Just got bitched", "Stop being so emo", "go away" and "you stink."

I am having fun. Pictures later. Got to work tomorrowsssss....