A twisted brain does not imply a twisted mind.

Does it?

I have no life.

*sigh*

Tomorrow's exam has got an owl clawing at me in the guts. And thurday's PA4... MINNA SAN, GAMBATTE!!!!! *cheeeeeeong arh* Hahha 4 brains together, we can't fail this one!

I missed the bus this morning. Hahaha... but got to class on time in the end so it was all good... Research methods was a good lecture but it was so hard not to fall asleep. Then bio, where me and ash took the lens out of the eye and looked at the upside down Su Re. "Guys, it's time to grow up." "Guys, this is a sign of stress." "Guys, that is not funny." "Guys, I'm so stoned!" Poor Su Re was traumatised by us and the skeleton who I insisted should take on a pose which impaled his hand in his rib cage. We swung him around, crossed his legs like a lady, looked at his pelvis to determine his gender, decided on male, poked his phlanges up his nose, spung his jaw open multiple times, charmed Su Re zombie style with his bony fingers... We were bored man. The poor skeleton got no rest from us.. in the end I think he was rather endearing.. I wouldn't mind having one to keep at home in my closet. Along with my dirty linen you know.

*Grrrrr*

Webct is down again and today is the last day of classes. I need to print lecture notes!

Laoya-pok!

Hahah... Lydia, so happy to see you online yesterday darling... heheh... think it was so nice that you were with Rachel when you got the SMSes... I must have been a bit mad but I hope u guys had a good laugh... Love you baby!

Anyway. I will glare at the other window and click refresh for as long as it takes. *sigh* man.. we really need a more effiecent system...

Watched Kenshin again yesterday, and spent the wee hours drawing a real nice bishie! Ureshii ne... I shall have lunch and watch more Kenshin! Everytime I look at him I think of Rachel... hahahaa, I shall not say what most prominent quality it is about him..

Wheee... class starts! ikimashou!

I just found the appropriate page in my psychology textbook after pages of 'cognitive gymnastics', on spoonerisms. I think I should call my psych text the 'manuel of cognitive gymnastics' or MCG. I suppose in freud's case, Male Chauvanist Goat would suffice.

"I remember your name perfectly but I just can't think of your face." - Oxford professor W. A. Spooner, 1844-1930, famous for his linguistic flip flops, or 'spoonerisms'. Spooner rebuked one pupil for "fighting a liar in the quadrangle" and another who "hissed my mystery lecture," adding, "You have tasted two worms."

Watch out Rachel.. perhaps he has decendents.

Yokatta!

I finished my Clinical Science exam at 10 am today, and walked forth from the doomed lecture hall shivering but happy. That's 70% worth of marks I don't have to worry about anymore. No more lectures, tutes, assignments or exams. Until August.

I will never look at Bob the builder in the same way again. He was never an endearing character to begin with, owing to the fact that I was born a female and with the appropriately feminine instincts to follow. Nevertheless, an abberation in femininity may have been the choice delicacy of the day as my first page of exam questions consisted of nothing less than a SCRIPT of the episode so sweetly named 'Bob's Birthday'. In big bold letters I read with disbelief the following:

Code the following utterances for pragmatic function.

Dizzy: let's go watch wendy bake the cake for Bob!

Muck: Oh Yes! We can watch her from the kitchen window!

Dizzy: Baking a cake's easy! All you do is bung everything up into one bowl.

Muck: Yes! It's just like making concrete. (By this time I was thinking, "what?")

Muck: Bob loves the concrete you make for him, Dizzy.

Dizzy: I know! Let's make him a concrete cake he can keep forever! (I think I've really heard it all.)

Muck:(singing) Bob the builder, can he make it?

Dizzy: (singing) Bob the builder, yes he can!

Muck: How's it looking, dizzy?

Dizzy: Like Sloppy concrete.

And straightfacedly, every woman in that lecture theatre (there wasn't a single male in there) solemnly coded the functions of every one of those sentences. Concrete cake indeed. I find it amusing that I started calculus when I was 15 and now that I am to turn 18 in december, I have put away my math books and turned instead to Bob the builder. I wonder how the scriptwriters manage.

Mummy looks funny doing her work. She's trying to finish an assignment and declares that keeping warm is done efficently by warming the head. So every time I walk into the room I stifle giggles and ask her what the pakistani woman is doing. Very funny, says she, and asks me to check a sentence for her.

I have two options with regards to work orders. I could start on Freud, or go over my Human Comm Science notes. Hmm. I have supposedly finished those darn dreaded notes but I can't seem to remember any of it owing to it's dull, dry content.

I was looking on the net for polyphonic ringtones and found some decent ones... mum gave me a funny look when I stuck the phone under her nose and rattled out 'under the sea'. It's my new message tone, tee hee! Ringtones are difficult to come by because I can only take 4-chord midis... which is so sad.. but I managed to secure fragments of Chrono Cross. And some old Jap stuff. Think 'First Love' era. I was 13 then... I feel old now.

I should be studying but I'm so happy that the first exam's over that I indulged!! Over indulged, I should say. I relaxed over half a movie (I re-watch Studio Ghibli works by discs, which means half the movie) and trudged around the house to try and find a warm spot. It's nearly 3 and I should start work..

Hmm.. Sorely regretted not burning Nausicaa of the Wind from Su, if not for Nausicaa herself then for the wonderful OST! I know Rachel would want to watch it too, because Studio Ghibli is just fantastic! Maybe I will borrow it to burn it. Joe Hisaishi is a genius of a composer. (See! See! Another "J"!!!!)

Anyways, I've talked too much and studied too little, so I shall hike myself off to make some notes. After which, I shall use my Epoch Maker to make revolutionarily noble and memorable holes in my paper. (see Rachel's blog)

p.s. Mum says that scarves are dangerous. Think Edna Mode in the incredibles, think cape. Now, think toilet. Get my drift?

I rubbed sleep from my eyes and turned off the alarm on my phone. I was about to go back to sleep when I realised that if I didn't wake up today, three things would happen. Firstly, my mom would get what she wanted and we'd end up at the 11 am service. Secondly I told Ale I would sit with her in the early service and lastly, Su said we'd meet after service to discuss some work. So I dragged my poor cold feet out of bed and found my mother already in front of the computer, ready to kill off that assignment she had. "She's got inspiration," said my father, who was still in bed and looking groggy.

No one said anything about my getting up at all when last night the 11 am service seemed a sure bet since we'd only go for 8.30 if I would wake up. And since I never wake up early my parents were smirking...

I spent one very zoned morning in church staring at everyone and everything. I think Boon must have thought me very mad indeed. I was stoning and felt just absolutely rubbish about what was going on around me. He caught me staring at nothing and looked at me strangely.. In the mad rush of everything, I wanted so badly to fall... to fall back on someone I knew and loved. Someone who'd say, "Let's go see Daph!" or "let's have lunch at TM" or "BUKIIIII" I miss Lydia most on Sundays, and Rachel most on weekdays. But I think about you both as much everyday...

I got home wishing I had the time to have a decent lunch with Ale. On the bright side, Auntie Jean came over and it never ceases to amaze me that her spirit and her soul remain so so youthful. If color could describe her, pure gold and cream would suffice. I really don't know what it is about her but I want to find out. She's awesome.

After lunch the soda water came out and we dumped lemon slices in it. I wasn't satisfied and so the red wine came out too. What a time to get drunk, I thought, and poured no more that a quarter of an inch into the glass. I've got a 70% exam tomorrow, I reckon there's no better time to knock myself out. So I didn't, because i decided that study was much more productive.

I've swept the Clinical and Biology off the table now. There's only HCS left and I haven't touched the Psychology. Eck. Freud is a dirty old man. I stand by that.

WhATEvEr.

exams, you SUCK. you SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK. you make me SICK.
Webct, what is wrong with your stupid attitude? Exam time den choose to *facepalm* me. Fine la! Have it your own way. It's not like you gain anything from denying me access. You're a computer program for goodness's sake! Any satisfaction you get is probably so encoded in binary numbers that it's no fun anymore. SO STOPPIT.

YAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. I'm personifying a computer program. Not only is it inanimate, it's intangible as well! How can I be angry at something intangible?

[Gone Crazy, Back Soon]

*-[Sot and schweet]`+

Nono, spelling has not taken leave of me. Sot, I feel is very appropriate. The notes I typed so painstakingly.. I have lost forever to Curtin's matrix. Curses.

Fortunately, I gritted my teeth and typed myself another copy and guess what? ALL my Human Comm Science Notes are done! Yokatta ne. *shakes hands all round* Seeing as my mad rush is yet incomplete, I'm really driving in 5th gear... I've never driven myself so hard before- never had the motivation. I really thank God that it's Him who's given me this crazy motivation and strength to work 8 to 5, literally. Okae, maybe an hour's break from 11.30 to 12.30, but I've never steeled myself to finish so much before.. or to come home and work after dinner and miss CSI... or to wake up at 9 am and start work without even walking into the kitchen! *phew* Thank you Lord...

Nevertheless, a pile of work remains! I don't know what's going to happen to me until the 3rd.. it's a MAD MAD rush, and I was SO miffed about the notes yesterday... nearly threw a tantrum... okae, so maybe I did. Poor papa was so worried about my notes that he called in school to check if I managed to do something about them in the middle of my research methods lecture. Thanks pops...

What's left? hahah... It starts on the
30th may- research methods assignment and 70% exam for Clinical Science
1st June- HCS exam, 40%
2nd June- Biology Practical ??%
3rd June- Psychology Exam.. ??%
=10 days break=
13th June- Human Biology 50% exam
16th June- research Methods exam.

Next week is Quasi school week. Tomorrow I shall decide what classes I have and whether i want to go for them... *sigh* why is there that one more research methods lecture?????

Okiee. me go help mumsie le... oyasumi.

You know WHAT?

I am a very blur girl. I've listened to John Mayer's 'City Love' at least 5 times... more like 20 now.. and I only realised today that he was singing about a girl called Lydia! How came I to be so adept at the art of tuning out songs I'm LISTENING to? haha. Well, one large possibility is that when I listen to John Mayer I'm usually trying to do some work on the com. And therefore, I hear it but I don't listen. Hmm...Food for thought.. Sara... how much of your world do you actually hear???

Anyway, John Mayer is the latest addition to my collection of 'J' celebs. In chronological order of appearance, Johnny Depp (clap!), Jude Law, Josh Groban, and John Mayer.. warhahaha... I think the reason John Mayer caught my eye was because Jude Law set the tone for hot british guys. Anyone know why they're all J... -_-" anyway, here's City Love, posted so just we can see Lydia's name.. hahahah...

City Love

I never liked this apple much
it always seemed too big to touch
I can't remember how I found
My way before she came around

I tell everyone
I smile just because
I got a city love
I found it in Lydia
and I can't remember life before her name

she keeps a toothbrush at my place
as if I had the extra space
she steals my clothes to wear to work
I know her hairs are on my shirts

I tell everyone
I smile just because
I got a city love
I found it in Lydia
and I can't remember life before

the day she called up and came to me
covered in rain
dinnertime shadowing
and as the clothes spun
we spooned and I knew I was through
when I said, "I love you"

Friday evening we've been drinking
2 AM I swear I might propose
but we close the tab
split a cab
and call each other up when we get home
falling asleep to the sound of sirens

I got a city love
I found it in Lydia
from the battery to the gallery
its the kind of thing you only see
in scented glossy magazines
and I can't remember life before her name

Okae la.. so Lydia isn't exactly well described here.. but hey! It's British and it's got Lyd's name in it.. warhahahah. Actually. He's not very British is he? Ah, who cares.. lalala. SiGh.. I've got 6 lectures to condense and the exam's on the 1st. I haven't done a thing. Isn't that appalling! 1 week to the exam! YaAaaaAarGh.. okie, going to sleep now so I can be more productive tomorrs... lala... instead of trying to find names of my besties in the songs I hear >.<...

[Loving you for you]

Today I woke at nine oh two
clothes to wear and hair to do.
And though I moved so swiftly quick
My heart inside I knew was sick.

And as the lonely day wore on
My heart began to weigh a tonne.
My countenance neigh did betray
A soul so full of rot and fray.

I cannot tell of my disease
Although this is what I please.
I know not what I suffer from
No one can shield me from the storm.

Rocking in this lonely boat
In the rain without a coat.
I stay because I cannot move
Stuck here in this sandy groove.

I'm sure you know this sand so well
From the Island of Broken Dreams dwells.
I see my trinkets in the sand
I cannot bear to leave this land.

But people will not comprehend
people judge and prod and tend
to tell me where I cannot go
Although my heart has long been sold.

Grudge me not this one boon now
Call me not a childish cow
Give me time to settle down
In this somewhat greying town.

Owari. It's hard to say what I mean when I'm trying to rhyme. Cow was rather out of hand. But then again, I'm really struggling with this Perth thing... and people think I should just snap out of it which I should but then again, easier said than done. Oyasumi.

The Land of Broken Dreams
Lies in the mist of time.
You never know when you'll see
it's dismal shores in sight.
The grey sands sigh
and the parched trees mourn.
The broken jars
The shattered glass
The things they used to hold.

I pressed upon the darkish sand
And landed thus ashore.
I laid my trinkets gently down
and shed my share of tears.
These dreams I never knew existed
These dreams I never wanted
I laid them down
I knew their fate
and I slowly walked away.

Fantasy, reality, I tried to mix them both
Resulting in a murky mess
I try to treasure both.
Some days I pretend that I am 3.
Sometimes I think you're near to me.
But my eyes spring open, you dissapear.
fooled myself a hope so dear.

You're growing up and so am I
You'll change so much
and so will I
Wish I could watch you change with time
Not seeing you is such a crime.
My dreams are just a fantasy
My chocolate room;
Penthouse for 3.

What happens to my bubble now
make a fuss and start a row.
Will i wake to find you dancing?
in the living room just prancing?
Will I see you in a suit?
Tight skirt and business boots?
Will us three have time for food
just us, just three, just loving the mood.

I know I sound so selfish.
I know I am a child.
I know it's wrong to ask so much
I know I'm not being fair.

That's why I took my boat and sailed
crying half the way
to try and break my selfish dream
and render it to no care.
But as time passes I know the truth
that this dream lives in me
I cannot break it totally
so I rest it on the sand.

Au Revoir are but sad words with hope.
Don't fossilize my memories
Don't steal from me my pride and joy
Give me back in life and breath
the pictures we painted so long ago.
I can't walk along these foreign shores
Can't conceal the tears tonight
Can't let go of something so precious
when it's so far away.

Land of broken dreams
Grey sand and dismal shores
take care of my dream
don't let it fade
my trinkets mean so much.
One day I'll understand
One day I'll come back to reminisce
with no bitter cup to taste.
till then,
Au Revoir.

Babes, don't take me too seriously here, but I guess it's true that I still miss ya both like crazy la... hurhurr. Take Care of yourselves okae.. I Love you two heaps!!! *muacks*

*-[Drowning in a Sea of Madness]`+

So I said I was going to sleep. So I lied. So sue me.

I'm going to sort out everything. At 1.45 am. I don't care... I am going to have EVERYTHING straight right now. RIGHT NOW. I've been avoiding him.. My bible's been in the same place for a while now. My journal's not filling up. I tell myself I don't have time but the truth is, I don't make time. I hate writing out the horrible truth but hey, he already know it. He knows I'm angry. He knows I'm too stubborn and proud to do things his way.. I've already grieved him and might as well admit it. Do me good. Or as the primary school children say, "Ore Biiie Gooout". Things have been spiralling down so fast. I've avoided him since Sunday, and it's only Thursday and I'm already in this stage. The I don't want to hear you stage, the "lalala I can't hear you stage"... And I hate it. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I know i love him to bits and I LIVE for him.. so why would I want to do this to him? My human nature.. my carnal MEness.... Would it cost you so much to say to him a simple sincere "I'm sorry"? Would it be so hard? Would it be so difficult to do the single thing that gives me the most happiness in this world- knowing Him and spending time with Him? The irony and paradoxes of life never cease to amaze me.

Father, I know you love me and I'm so sorry for acting like you don't matter when nothing else can ever matter.. I just wanna walk straight with you, wanna love you like crazy.. and I wish this world wouldn't distract me as much as it does. Already you've captured my attention, already you've paid that debt I can't put a price on. Already that blood was shed for my redemption before I asked. There is no condemnation that comes from you and I'm not going to take it any more. No one is going to tell me that I'm wrong, or ugly, or fat or pathetic... or anymore rubbishy things. I'm going to come back and take that place I used to take- knelt in front of you... praising, worshipping.. nothing makes me happier than when I'm worshipping...

Remember that picture of the little beggar girl before a king? Well I'm that girl now and I want to come running, knowing your acceptance is there. Ps Benny said that when you dunno which button to press, press the 'mercy' button...here goes.....

I put my confidence in the Lord Jesus Christ, who has promised never to leave me nor forsake me, who has solved my problems even before I've had them, who's led me back to the path even before I've strayed because he's all knowing.. because he's sovereign. And I trust that he will find a way to make my paths straight and my way smooth, and that I may serve him wholeheartedly and fully just to make him Smile.

I can't deny that my God is an AWESOME God and that He's the one who will see me through it all. The only reason I was ever down and out was because I was too stubborn to go to Him.. but now i just want to Love Him.. there's nothing better than doing that.. there's all the joy in the world just doing that... So simple, yet nothing's more fufilling. I was Made to Praise Him.

[I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross.]

[Dancing for you always... DaDdiE!]

*-[Do you know]`+

When it's time to sleep? When you get so down and sad that you want to cry and you feel that there's no point trying so hard in life... that you should just borrow a good movie and watch it for the rest of your life... that you just wish tomorrow could promise you better things. That's when it's time to sleep... When your heart is so empty but so so sore... when it hurts when it cries and bleeds, but you shut your heart out and your face smiles... When your rawness wants to get the best of you.. when you want to scream the truth of all the hidden secrets glimmering in that dark cave of your mind. To tell the world that you don't know, don't care, and that we should all just behave ourselves. But how can we? I know I don't rule my heart, or my mind... I know that all I do is try as best as I can not to embarrass myself in public and not to step on everyone's toes.. but sometimes..

What is it about this life that keeps you going even though you know nuts about what's going on? If we're all such control freaks and we know it.. why not just let it all go...Some things we'll never have control over, and weather's the least of my worries. I know i must be very selfish to be ranting on about this rubbish.. not to mention too personal on a very public blog... and I see a potentially large amount of self pity spilling out but i just seem so resigned to having this tension in my life I don't know whether to keep on kicking and fighting it or to stop and let it go... I dunno.. when Mei En prayed for me on Sunday I saw myself kicking, and then wanting to let go, slack off and let whatever come, come. Funny thing is.. I don't know which to do.. I don't even know for what! Okay I shall stop here.... urrgh.. be a responsible kiddo and sleep so that I can do work tomorr!

[My beginning my forever]

*-[Lalala]`+

Worraworraworra.

I'm so bored. We're in between classes now and I think BLADES sucks big time. It's this thing that we use to code speech and it's so hard to decide what each speech utterance should be. Is that verb a copula? What is a copula?

AiYoOoo WACHIE. Strawberry Chocolate is for eating purposes and no other. Haha. Don't worry, I'm not having the best time of it as well. I say, these Chocolates are all the same. Pain in the neck. I think. That Sheep are better. And I bet Lyd thinks so too.. hahaha... Let's switch to sheep!

Today... cold lei. And I want to finish my work but why is there so much to do? Human Bio Human Bio... Man when all this is over.. when July comes.. I shall be SO SO happy! And then i can start tutoring!! Yeaah.. need $$$$ for that 7200. I think my heart's set on it...hehs. 400 / 15 = 26.6 = 27... Hmm.. Ale? can I give u 27 lessons???? can we have tuition for 2 hours at a go???

Yeaaash.. think I shall go walk to attend one more hour of indecent coding of stuff. Tute starts in a minute. Got to go! Taa!

[I think. Schixotic is beginning to be a word.]

Too tired to post anything decent... this is not good... hahaha. Oh wells, Oyasumi!

[On fire when you're near me.]

Whoo. Bishie, but a little too young looking for my taste. This photoshopping attempt is one of the few times I touch the program. WhoOpee~ omedetou! Tribute to Rachel for the inspiration and to Clare for techniques (babe, you make it look so easy.)

Don't have much to say- and I feel like whining so much because I'm stressed. I don't like bones, and I think.. I don't think very much now because my brain's frying. Think I should take a shower, get on with some work and reward myself by photoshopping something. I'm a sucker for trouble ain't I? And there's school at 8. I need another study break. Curtin's spoilt me rotten. haahah.

[Keep me in your arms of love]

*-[Joy]`+

Maaaan~ ureshii ne! I've just come back from cell feeling tip top! I'm so happy! So happy! so happy! I don't feel stressed anymore and i know God will handle everything I've got. He sent someone to encourage me on wendesday night (Hmm, was it wednesday?? I can't remember. but you know who you are and you're such a dodo. [Well, affectionately more than annoyingly] Thanks for that. It really lifted me.) And cell people are always always an encouragement, hey? So seeing them today was so good! SiGhhH Contented....

I know what I want to say today. I want to tell you the story of the tangerine photoshoot!!!!

*-[Tangerine Photoshoot]`+

Thursday I got called in for a second photoshoot at Claremont because Poor Sanjeev's face got oxidised by the last few shots we took on Saturday. He looked like he had been beaten up by a fake tan machine, as clare described it. Tangerine. She got a nice shock when loading up the pictures late at night. So I just threw some make up on him to make him look like he was in his late fifties. And this was very successful (other than the earring la) because he has pretty defined jowls and a sunny disposition. We missed a Kodak moment when he squealched from the eyeshadow. Clare got her work done and other than an annoying missing butterfly bow... it was all very smooth.

The fun came when Sanjeev stopped to pump petrol and because he didn't take off his make up or white hair. Su, Clare and myself watched in childish anticipation as he stepped up to the Cashier to pay. The unsuspecting victim (poor lady, she has my sympathy) looked up from a previous transaction and did a double take. Literally. She stepped backwards and had problem maintaining eye contact with the calm Sanjeev who was rummaging his wallet for cash. If she had heard the roar of laughter from his car she would have been even more bewildered. I was so tempted to go up to him and say, "Grandpa, grandpa, let's gooo!" And horrify the poor lady even more. As it was, we had a good spot from the car seats and I felt like I had just seen candid camera happen. Contrast this to the next customer who came along- the cashier gave her a nice big relieved smile and served her while looking into her eyes straight. Well, maybe she just doesn't know how to look into a pretty good looking older man's eyes. hahah.

lalala. Tired. Going to sleep. Happy now. Like kid like that. wheeeee~!

*-[Functional]`+

I need to be functional. I just want to be functional FULL STOP PERIOD ONE BIG ROUND DOT. I just don't want all these hassles, all these large barriers that fight me to function. I feel like a media player movie that keeps jumping and stopping. I just wish people would be more co-operative and understanding and less PRESSURISING.

Ihaveaverystressfulexistancerightnowcanupleaseletmefigureitoutbeforejumpingintomyaffairs ThAnKyOuvEriEmUcH. *sigh*

I was really.. pushed to tears today but didn't succumb. More and more I'm feeling the tension, the stress of everything. I think it's because I've begun to take up more responsibilities. And remembering that I let go of responsibilities in the public sector in secondary 1, getting used to it again is just difficult. Not to mention getting HOUNDED about some things and having to say sorry for something you didn't do. I'm really pek chek about it. I feel like going, "HAIYAAAAAAAA" in a very terrible raspy voice and infecting everyone with whatever germs I've got. I try to be nice about it and I know I'm not being nice enough so why don't you just banish me to a desert island where i can be nice to palm trees and glass bottles? At least they don't need as much niceness as people do.

I mean, can't I start to do the things I should be doing without this.. I don't know.. holding back??? I really really reeeeaaaaally. Am stressed. *grr*

[pthblth to you too.]

*-[Jogging]`+
Jogging Hurts. But I like it. I like hearing myself breathe, I like the constancy of my feet tapping one in front of the other. It reminds me that some things in life don't change much at all, and I think I do need that comfort. Things have changed so much since I've come to Perth and I still look back to see where I've come from. My perspective's changed so much, my heart is still sore from leaving, even after one year of being in Perth. Perhaps I've become resigned to the fact that I may never find 'home' again. Some days I think that I am home- I know my parents want me to think of this as home, but I may never truly find a 'home' till I go back to the place I came from. And that's not even on earth.

I don't know why I run. There are so many other things a girl could do- prefer to do, really. I think I run because it causes me to stop thinking about reality for half an hour. All I think about is that I can't make it one more step, and then I think I can. It's a constant battle of pushing myself harder than I did the last time, a battle that remains more in the will than in the physical. And it's egocentric as well. All I think of as I run is me. Whether I can take another step, how fast I can go, whether it hurts me too much and how far I've run from home. And it's a roller coaster ride. As soon as I turn the bend onto Kirk Rd, I know I've made the easy 1/3 of the way. As the straight road goes up and down, as it merges into Gilbertson, I squint and look for the blue bus stop. A sight for sore eyes. That is where I turn into Williamson and finish the last 1/3 of the journey. A generally uneventful and not very scenic route, but it's familiarity comforts me. At least I know where I am. I see people walking dogs. I jog past them like they're part of the picture. Some trees dangle their leaves low and brush my head. The encouragement is nice. The best is when there's a wind blowing at you and you're going downhill. Almost effortless. The sun gets in your eyes, and the wind parches your face. You feel your nose turn cold. And you laugh, because when it's time to turn in to the park, you slow down and the heat of your muscles respiring catches up to you. The warmth is reward enough for what you've accomplished. You check your watch and decide to take it easy for a while. You've got time.

Then there are days when I jog too near sunset. I enjoy the brilliant colors and the regularity of my breath reminds me how cold it is and how I should hurry back before dark. The impending darkness is a great inspiration to move faster. The scenery is gone and the dissapearing light tells you the show's over. I once stopped mid-track in school to watch a manificent sunset, and had two elderly professors kindly comment on the wonderful picture. I remember the little prince liked sunsets too. I love that book as much as ever. I suppose some things don't change, and I'm glad.

Been having a bout of small ups and downs lately. Nothing to account for my strange behaviour but my own inconsistent self. I guess it's all on the inside but I am terribly mao dun about some things. I just can't seem to agree on them at all. I don't see why I shouldn't just go all out and be nice to people! I mean, so they don't appreciate it but that isn't any reason to stop. I've been annoyed about this for weeks on the end but it only just came out and now I'm in a fix. confound it all.

Nevertheless there's school tomorrow and strange as it may sound I like uni life and so I shall thoroughly enjoy myself tomorrow. Good Night.