I don't know what to say. I'm going back tomorr le... And all I can think of is here and Singapore.. and both places...

I had a funny dream... that I got the place in medicine after the interview.. I dreamt I got a letter that told me I got in because I wasn't boring!?!?!

well, well... I dunno what to say except that the memories are reviving.. little by little, I look at photographs... and it's coming back to me...

coolies... well, be back soon. yay!

misune!

WhooOoooo.

Day after tomorrow... this is it!

Gramps, you're an absolute duck! You rawk!!!!!!!

Melvin... I'll call on the 4th. I shd remember cos I wrote it down.

Rachel and Lydia... black arh black!!

And tomorr is my last day at work. whoot! score...

SCORE! Saturday the 4th with Jona and the HC choir! hehehehehe. Whoo.. minna san! Arigatou! You all rawk so much.. I love you all. *wipes away tear*

So touched that Lyd and Rach are coming for me.. I think I may cry.. *sobbing*

Oh man.. I am I really AM excited... *fidgets*

Thank you God! For blessings such as these!

I should stop talking to myself. Can u see the stress levels rising?

I am feeling so so queer right now. I have that feeling like adrenaline is being produced too quickly. My heart is racing and I feel like fainting. Yup, I suppose I'd attribute most of it to not eating enough and being over tired. But it's also the prospect of going back. I'm so torn... and worn...

you know what? I really think my problem now is gastric. and err. wo de xin you wen ti. ya. I think I can't take this for much longer and it better be resolved or I will just........ just..........scream and die of embarrassment, or worse, rejection. wahahahaa so fun hor. SARA! GO and eat! NoW!

orh.

byee

My dearie darlings. I have been having a hectic schedule unsuitable for one so unfit such as I. I suspect angina pectoris is either gastric gone wrong or too much chocolate. Take your pick.

Charmaine, my girl. Let me tell you about Little ms Tai Tai. Then you will know what I got so heated about. This lady switched from table 4 to 10 (which I was about to wipe and she bored holes into me with her eyes because I wasn't fast enough.) and she griped about her ice Kachang heaps.

Anihows. Lots to do, lots been done. Here's what was and what will be.

19th nov exam finished
20th nov out with carol after paper run
21th church + work for 6 hours
22nd ded tired
23rd 7.5 hours work
24th 8 hours work
25th tutored tim a bit and worked for a while in the pizza shop.
26th out with Jen jie whole day in Hay St. + prayer meet at night
27th pack in the morn + meet Jon for coffee at 2
28th Service in the morn + work till hopefully 6.30
29th interview at 2.30 (cross fingers and pray)
30th work again 10.30 to 4.30 (I'm gonna force my way out of working 8 hours.)
1st LEAVE FOR SG!

whoo. More to say, no time to say it. I shall bring a notebook back to document my stay.. it's so precious! and make everyone write in it. hhahaha. Love y'all.

Work. What can I say? But here is a list of stuff you can do if you are a pro waitress person:

1. Don't order sizzling dishes if u sit outside. Oil splatters when u have to open a door.
2. Don't switch tables
3. If your chilli doesn't come. Just. Shut. Up.
4. Please don't dump liquid in the ashtray
5. Don't kao buay kao bu at us. We do it behind you too you know. Biatch.
6. make space as we come through with hot dishes.
7. Please Please Please tell us which one of you is having the won ton mee. Holding it while I get blank looks is so encouraging.
8. You don't have to make a mess. Don't.
9. Please be nice to us cos we'll be nice to you.
10. When you ask for water, WAIT.

hurrrmph. What's with these customers. Looking down on people who waiter. HuRmPh. So what if i don't get everything right. It's called TOLERANCE, especially (tim if u see this, note: Spelling.) if you are getting served.

LiKe A ChiLd
I want to return.
Like a child,
I want to love
without heartache
I want to cry
for all the small things in life
I want to give
with no obligation
I want to play
unrestrained
I want to learn
without toiling
I want to breath
like a child.

Like a child
who cries with no fear of embarrassment
Like a child
Who doesn't know how to worry
Like a child
When life was full of the small things
Like a child
Whose love is given pure, free
Like a child
Who is loved in return
Like a child
Who is free...

Tears...

ExAmS OvEr!!!
Putrid things. that's all I can say. haha. Actually, contrary to that, it was quite fun, other than the stress! =) I must be going mad. Anyone who has seen me today would rather think so. Even Rachel. I called her today... because one must have some form of indulgence in order to celebrate the end of such ardous tasks, and what better way than to let loose to my best babes?

I've gotten so fat now, and I must MUST lose weight before I return home.. waha. LC has made some... comments. hmph. Rachel, stomp him out and scold him! hmph. I protest. Anyway, cheesecakes were made to be fat right? haha.

Well well, I wanted to say a few after exam words, but I think I'll chuck the idea on the basis of corniness and lack of sleep. Plus, I have to deliver papers tomorr morn.

Well, I think there's a big load that's been lifted off me! No real academic work for what, 3 months? Oh joy.... I'm just going to melt and die of happiness!

[tra la la, tra la la]

E:

Your Beauty liesin Mystery. Captivating, mysterious and alone. You
are the girl in the littleblack number that no one seems to know, the eternal
mystery girl. You make it apoint to never let anyone know more about you than
you want them to and do avery good job of it. You're there one minute and
gone the next leaving them inwonder of who you really are. A mature and normally
calm individual, quiet andenjoy spending many hours of the day on your own,
most likely preferring nightto day . You love the dark and some may find you a
bit strange. You seem to berather distant and cold making hard for people to
get close to you, though youprobably like the distance they usually keep. You
probably wear make-up, butconcentrate more around your eyes than anything.
You know the effect you haveand enjoy keeping people in wonder.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Dark, Water Animal: Panther Color:
Black, Maroon, DarkTones Song: In The Shadows by The Rasmus
Expression:Sly Smile

Gemstone:Black Diamond Mythological Creature: Demon,
Vampire Sign:Scorpio Planet: Venus Hair Color: Black Eye Color:Garnet

Quote:"In the shadows for all time."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by

AiyaaaaH!
I am so so so full! Went to mary Ann's for dinner and I am so stuffed! Harumph. yeeks.. one more paper! One more! Hehehe...

Yeee. I was a bit dotsy today.. cos I waited 1.5 hours for cindy to buy my uniform and in the end she had like no money! And I could have gone home!!! Eeeks. I'm sulking inside now.

Wachel took my quiz and scored a roaring 70%.. you go girl! Haha...

Went to see Vinny today. Don't ask me how come Tim got the day wrong, but I think Vinny was surprised anyhow. hehe. Happy birthday?????

EeEeeEeeeEe. every one is leaving! Cos after exams le~ I also want! I want to go homeeeeeee! Sighz. Big big sighz.

*poutpout* home is where my heart is~

LaLaLa I Can't Hear You!
As The day draws nearer
More things get thrown out the window
Just like that
Snap of my fingers
My heart flutters
And all I can think of
Is the start of the plane's engines.
Lalala.

Opening the fridge I squinted hard and took the liberty of encumbering myself with the difficult decision between avocado and mud cake. After and era and a half (3.5 seconds), I slid the mud cake out of the shelf and cut a slice. Tuck in, babes.

hahah got bio paper tomorr... Happy! It will be over over over soon! hehehe.

Jaa!

Green Plants
Haha. Do u know how bad I am with plants? Well, here I am, forced out of my own house beacuse of the confounded heat in the back garden with tall weeds. I like weeds. I am going to have a garden of one when I grow up. Anyway, the conversation went like this:

me: What are those? Pandan Leaves?
dad: No! My gosh, girl.. can't u tell? Chives!
me: Oh. I can't tell.. They're all green.
dad: (with a look) Weeds are green too.

It's too hot for anything. 35 degrees is sweltering. I feel. Hot.

Talking to my darling now. (no Jonathan you hussy, it's not a beau, it's a phish.)
I have 2 papers to go and I hope they pass faster! 33 days to go! I'm coming!!!!!!!!! wait for me....

eee. so sian. life here is getting more sian. Haha. Rachel just confessed interest in me. hahaha. Not in a bad way, of course. *smiles sweetly* hahah.

Aniwaes.... sian le. dun wanna waste too much space.

Haha. Debs, happy being in KL! hee!

Chocolate Overload. Seriously. I have finally had so much chocolate at a go that I think I'm finally sick of it. Now isn't that news? Hah. I am blessed with Chocolate! Hahaha...

Now now now.. there are some things that must be done...
1. Study for bio
2. Sell books
3. Sell uniform
4. Plan details for HOLIDAY!
5. Buy black slacks
6. practice drawing phish with cross eyes.
7. prepare myself for lots of MSG in singapore.. pig out!
8. eat less chocolate
9. ben mo dao zhi more.

Yups, that's all I can remember... oh well.. I feel so... normal tonight! I'm finally feeling more normal than usual... Finally I think my self is accepting life.. and maybe it's all just a chocolate illusion.

[maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.. and after all... you're my wonderwall]
Oyasumi

p.s. Dearest Phishy. Do you know that while okami is wolf in japanese I should stick to calling you okami and not okami-san because okami-san refers to *pauses* MARRIED women.

Whee. Food.

Is that all I can say right now? Is it? Cos when I wanted to blog I had all these things to say and now I am totally blank except for maggi mee cravings. Great.

Chem paper is over. That makes 2 to go. yes.

Utada Hikaru's Deep River is GOOD! What can i say... Hahah. Rachel... If u want it I'll bring it back. I'm a bit tired... Of everything. Not bad stuff or anything. Just tired. Wan go home. Now.

Ahaha. To eat or not to eat. I am such a pig.

Wellwell, only thing worth mentioning is the play.. yesyes, The year 11s were SO good.. theirs was called 3am... and the yr 8's totally spoofed soap opera so well.. and the year 10s were so cool... Pancake mix is so cool~~~

Ahahaha. Shd go sleep now, but... nawf. Let's rot instead. I love talking to gramps and tim on MSN... ahaha

Rachel. JIA YOU!!! hahahahaha.

Bangers and Mash

Uncle edi is funnie. Ever since my dad quit his job in Singapore.. the replacement person has been really funny. Poor uncle Edi still works there and sits next to this person... and he's a real nutcase.. He bangs the table, keyboard, mouse and keeps saying 'sh*t sh*t' to himself and when Uncle Edi asks him what is wrong he says, "nothing. why would you think there is something wrong?" And today poor Uncle Edi was being driven quite mad, quite mad.. and he says that he almost threw the whole CPU at him.. haha.. and when instead he stood up and said,"what's your problem?" The guy was like, "the computer is taking very long to boot." And fuming Uncle Edi said, "So u think u bang the keyboard, bang the mouse and bang the table the com will boot faster issit??"

Did you know that when i was small I laboured under the delusion that the color of the title now was violet? All this book's fault.. it said this was violet. And I read it when I was young. Eee. Pian xiao hai zi. so sad right.

Aniwae, I like Hikari very much.. Thank you Rachel!!! hahhaah. Utada Hikaru is good. Colors is also very very nice. *smiles*

Hahha. Didn't do any work today. Tomorrow is English! QUICK.. I want exams to be over over over! *runs into the horizon* *smashes*

hmph. *blows out like topsy does*

aniwaes.
Jaa!

Wheee. Rachel finished DX ball. I finished my calc exam! (now do you feel the inferiority of your achievement? or should that be me?) haha.

Ah me, 4 more to go. and I'm going in on the 23rd to start work! Woo.

Lydiaaa... I got a job! Hahah. Hope I dun get stuck with aunties like in Singtel... *worried look* hahah. No larr, i think it shd be okae... *grinz*

Me is starting to think about the logistics of my trip. lovely! I love ben mo dao zhing. babe... the pig in the city, can I stay with you from the day after Christmas onward??? Please? 25th to maybe 2nd or 10th. OooOOh, pls say yes!

*prancing on the cloud of examinations* (actually is stress sky high.)

ANNOYED. Irritated. Pissed. Infuriated. Angry. Fretful. Sorry, but yes I am having another bad blog here.

I REALLY THINK THAT IF U CAN'T SEE THAT LOG IN YOUR EYE DEN DUN GROUCH TO ME ABOUT THE SPLINTER IN MINE THAT I HAD REMOVED!!!! YOU CAN'T SEE OUTSIDE YOURSELF AND SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA BLAST YOU IN YOUR FACE AND BITE YOUR HEAD OFF. BUT I WON'T. MAYBE I WILL ONE DAY BECAUSE I AM SAD TO SAY THAT AT THIS POINT I DUN CARE ENUF ABOUT OUR MISERABLE AQUAINTANCE TO SAY I WANNA SAVE THIS FRENSHIP. AND I SAY I WANNA SAVE MOST FRENSHIPS. SO THERE. WE HAVEN EVEN TALKED THAT MUCH. BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO INTO YOURSELF TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. SO BLAST YOU. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. JUST GO ON WITH YOUR SILLY INWARD LOOKING LIFE AND I WILL JUST SIT BACK AND SHUT UP NOW.

sorry people. Hot steam rising. Sauna, anyone? I feel better now. and you know how evil I am now. hahaha.

Loving you babes all the same still. =)

Guess what I was doing tonight. Guess! I was reading through all my old letters from my babes. My gosh... I didn't realise that time is gone so fast and yet is so near.. I really wanna go back. I feel caught sometimes, and imprisoned... and I just feel that what you say is so true.. that in my heart of hearts... things have not changed between us.

I still wonder why we didn't happily skip off and have our own contented lives.. but I am very glad we never did, because when I needed you most you were there for me. I am ever so grateful for all of you.. Lyd, Rach, Shu.. and Avvy too...

I think about my two babes more and more.. sometimes it scares me that our memories are becoming more and more surreal.. I can't seem to remember everything correctly- and for some strange reason it has become a queer sort of desperate game I play.. to make sure I can still remember. Rachel doesn't like eggs. Lydia hates nagging. I feel the need to force myself to remember what the MRT station looks like, which escalator goes up, and which goes down.. which stops come first and in what order.. It's like forcing myself to remember the world I was from because I didn't want to lose it. I feel so distanced sometimes...Especially those lazy mornings that I wake up... half asleep still, and I think about these things and try to remember. It's like a virtual tour in my head. And I think my heart is bleeding.

Rachel says that I am unashamed to pen my feelings, and it's true... to say that sometimes there is that longing to go back so bad.. That I don't wanna miss a thing there.. that I wanna go thru fire and water with you.. who else??? Who else would I celebrate life with?? haha~ with whom have I laughed more, cried more and connected with more? Of whom do I dream of? think of? Write to?? I have so many names for you now.. babes, daHlings (the british way), girls, best, favourites?? haha.

I miss you I miss you.

More than you think. But then you miss me more than I think right? So i think it's all good. =)

Whoo. Finally. A post. After how long harr? But aniwaes...

I love you BaBeEEee(s) Hahah.

Here's a cheer.

Question: Are they hot or not. Pig and Phish they rawk. (x2)
Reply: They are hot, you rot! They're everything you're not! Gooooooooooo Babes!

Aniwaes, exams start tuesday. I'll be seeing you soon.. Looking foward to it! いきたいでしょう！
テストはちょっと annoying.. hahaha. Oh well, what to do?

Lydia, tomorr is yr last paper right, girl? Well, jia you jia you!! I know you're smart and clever and you're gonna make it! Go for it!

Wachel, approve the testimonial okae? *grinz* it just shows your true form. Shouldn't have trusted me!!!!! *gringringrin* Sowwie. Dun worry about the people asking for yr no.. just refer them to the fat cheesecake... I'll make fish meat I mean minced pie out of them!

Love ya
miss ya
take care