Friday, December 30, 2005

The silence that is broken only by the squeaking of the swing, where a grey and listless child rocks patiently. So forlorn, so aimless.


Take me back to the time when I was maybe 8 or 9.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

LARRY IS THE CUTEST CUCUMBER!
My costly uncle,
Is not costly but another word for dear? Please do not take this the wrong way, I do not think you valuable, or even expensive. Rather, I simply find that you are costly. You cause me many troubles, with your ambitions to lower my temptership levels to great depths. You cause me strife, and cost me time. Let me cite you some examples.


You greatly implored me to confuse my patients in the matter of love. I have obediently done so (yet another of the enemy's traits), and I find myself yawning when the little mortals write letters to each other or they kick up a fuss about what is right and wrong in the matter of love. What IS love, they ask, and come so close to understanding the gargantuan and frighteningly powerful concept that it takes all my effort to simply stop them from thinking about truths and start them thinking about each other in a distractingly worldly manner. I derive no pleasure from their little love trials, and I seem to be more burdened with the work you provide. Sometimes I think you put me up to this just to make my life miserable.


Should not my obedience to you be an insubordination in itself, since it's intrinsic value still comes from above? Why isn't dilligence an abomination? I argue my case in hope that I should be able to take a little holiday for myself this festive season, seeing that it is Christmas. Then again, you surely will turn into a gargoyly sort of creature at the mere suggestion of celebrating the beginning of the enemy's triumph. And just to twist things even more, should not my rebellion cause you pain, and is not that pain desirable? Really, it is an abomination that out organisation remains as structured as it is; we should be rioting more and assailing one another, just as I love to poke at you with a stick when you turn into the sundry variety of creatures you seem to have acquired the affinity for. Really, uncle. You confuse me.


Now, I am extremely busy, and being the perverse tempter that I am, will proceed to write Christmas cards with well wishes, as much as that is forbidden. Even in your rage, you will understand that i am doing this simply to create trouble in the lowerarchy and perhaps bring a little more disintergration to our structure, being the loyal tempter that I am.


No love lost,
Starlustre.

[grr]


Why do people, in general, think that it is not a good idea? Well, I don't think it is a good idea either. But I would like to think that it is feasible, and maybe even delectably beneficial. I love contradictions. What are the chances, Sara?? haha. I like dreaming. So.. what's this 'it'? Haha. It LORR.


[Dream a little dream of me..]

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

My Dearest Uncle,
I would not write but for the rules and regulations I must abide by. The law forces itself on me, and everyone else in this place, and will not hear otherwise. The only controversial alternative is that of grace, which I am told, is a myth. The juniors have their table at lunch, and we do talk about these things however forbidden they are. I trust you are family; do not divulge my private matters- slubgob has enough work as it is.


I am not as ambitious as you would hope, dear sir. I do my work, but I live from day to day, for momentary pleasure. You wish that I was more motivated, and perhaps more stirred to cause strife in the life of my patient. You complain they will not grant me another patient till I have proved myself. You, uncle, are anxious, I am sure, for me to prove myself for your sake. Frankly, this is not something I am willing to do; I'm no angel. We all made this choice as a family, when his lowliness decided to start this war. I made this choice because I wanted to live not caring about morals, or good and evil. Don't try to enforce anti-morals on me either, because they are the same. Dilligence, passion, focus, hope of achievement! You ask me to have these things, yet they are, you must reluctantly recognize, of the enemy's camp! Your contradictions disturb and annoy me.


One last thing must be addressed; I instilled in my patient's mind, the night her father drove me home, the idea that men are irritating. And she has begun to take up a feminist stand, although it is false. Someday it may turn real if I am careful. Of course, we decided that she should learn the art of manhandling, and perhaps of boyhandling. After all, she is part of the larger population. She has the qualifications to handle that sort of training. I have already submitted applications to begin training. Fighting Liberally In Real Time, a three month practical course in getting what you want with what you have. That's what it's called. FLIRT, for short.


Since you must be a little lacking in the following of the syllabus (I imply nothing), let me update you. For the minority population, we had initially feared the worst. We feared that with no looks, no assets and no lustful charm, we would fail to implement FLIRT and thus fail to enslave a majority of the testosterone charged humans. We conducted extensive research, and after a few major campaigns, which you may have heard of from under your rock, we have convinced the western world that tall, skinny, flat and strange looking women are a novelty. de-rejoice, uncle! The world now strives for this standard! These capable women are even more effective in our work than the age old bend-and-snappers! Moreover, not all of the minority fail in all areas; only one or two, but it keeps them all the more dissatisfied, when they should be attending to their families they go to slimming centres instead. I myself am a rather large specimen; I am not proud of it. My dear cousin dropdead-G is also unsatisfied. Although she has a beautifully svelte figure, no fat to speak of, and the face of an angel (you wouldn't approve of that metaphor, would you?), she complains of being a washboard. I would tell her otherwise, but i didn't want to risk a scolding from lower down. The corrections facility is really unbearable.


Your rebellious ward (wort),
starshine.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

I've played the game of love before
Too young to know
How hard the fall could be
I never though I'd try again
Somehow you brought
The gambler out in me
You can deal me in this time around
Even though the odds are high
We'll play them down
You may be a chance I need to take
And the hand I'm holdin' says it's no mistake


[don't you hate being in love?? None of this is really real..]

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Frumpy Toothbuds.


Ode to Guppy with no more wise teeth.


MEH HEH HEH HEH.

I love being in Singapore.. because I get to go crazy.. (and, as my darlingest dearest cousin must add, and rightly so, because she is here.) And also because a side of me comes out that is just not present in Perth! A quirky, weird person who cracks the most insane inside jokes with her best of friends and lies on the parquet floor eating fries and laughing about, really, nothing at all! Must be the air, says Avvy. A bit of silliness, really, says Johnny Depp who is SO HOT in finding neverland. Raise your hand if you didn't cry when Kate Winslet's character died. *points finger at people who did* Do you feel guilty? well you should! Suffer!


I loooooooooooooooooooooove doing so many things~!! I wuv embarrassing guppy on maple! "Hello there Mr. Snail! I see you are red! And that makes you hot! But I need exp, so I shall need to.. aaah.. cause your expiration. It's been nice meeting you!!" I Looooooooove laughing about insanely weird things! I love I love I love the intrinsic THRILL of living in my cousin's house and being in Singapore! I LOOOOOVE discussing my cousin's life with her! (go see her blog MUAHAHAHAHA red letter daeeeee). I LOOOOOOOVE killing chickens in Rachels house with her while she tries to impart her singing skills to me! I LOOOOOOOVE watching Johnny Depp! I LOOOOOOVE swooning over Rachel's singing! IT IS SO SWOONABLE!! Shi Fu! Teach me!


WARRRRRRHAHAHAHA and I got my results back. My Lord has been faithful! As always! THIS IS GOOD!


Things have changed.. I admit I don't belong here and I don't live here anymores.. but I love that God has renewed and restored! GOD IS GOOOOOOD! I know that I have to learn and move on and really put my heart into sowing into Perth, but I also thank God SO SO much that He has been everlastingly faithful in blessing me in Perth~!


OOOOOH and I'm so excited.. OOOH and I'm so psyched.. OOOOOOH and I think I'm on cloud 9!!!!


[To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as tradgedy. To Lose both looks like carelessness. - Oscar Wilde]


WHEEEEEEEEEEEE Jumping Junipers~!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

[Meh]


For some dumb reason, I miss Singapore. Urgh. I'm in Seremban now and it's the last day of youth camp. I assume everyone's winding up by now. Sigh. I feel so weird about being in SEA again. I'm confused. And like Christopher Boone, I just feel like curling up in a safe and quiet corner. Which reminds me, I've just finished reading the incident of the dog in the night, and I think it's so sad! I think the character of Christopher Boone is simple incredible, and yet incredibly tragic. The story end was good and bad and sad and fair all at once. It's going to be dinner soon, and I will try to climb back up on the spiderweb after (it's always good to risk one's life AFTER a good meal and not before) and post more here. taaa!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

[Trolley Wolley]


Learnt much, didn't drink tequila, and still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with every breath being given to me.


Muacks!


Taa for one week, mapling phishie!
Taa for one week, piggy poo!

Monday, December 05, 2005

[in need of a PLASTER]


I've secured several injuries within 4 days of arrival. I'd auction them off if I could, but anyways here they are in case you're interested in obtaining similar injuries. In which case, simply follow the instructions provided, and if you're careful you should end up with the same sort of boo-boo.

(a) Scratch and bruise on right wrist, medial side.
Instructions: Try throwing garmets over the partition to a friend in the changing rooms in Espirit. Hint: you know those hooks where they hang clothes? Ya, they're useful. =)


(b) Painful achy feet.
Instructions: Walk around from 7 in the morning to 12 midnight 3 nights straight in lousy slippers and i can almost gurantee a similar result.


(c) A fractured Heart
Instructions: Now this one is tricky. It's hard to fracture a heart and not completely break it. The trick is to, however, make someone else unhappy. And when you do that, and you care about that person, a fractured heart is an immediate and predictable response. On top of that, you begin to hate yourself for doing what you know is the right thing. So much.


So I hope this will come in useful for anyone who needs an excuse to skip school/work/ask for more pension. These are honest findings from a tired, contrite and jaded researcher.


I just think that my life can't fit through the dimension warp everytime I come through from Perth to Singapore. Everything starts to twist and turn so horribly.. I just want to put in a good December.. Dear God help me to keep focused on you when the road turns into a tightrope.. Love ya.. And I wish there was some way to make me like all the painful decisions I know I have made rightly.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Woggling.


No, it is not a new form of haggling. Haha.


Been thinking a lot. Change makes you think, shifting makes you think, and I've been thinking about 4 things.


Island barriers, propaganda, boxes and drama.


It's complex. Gimme Perth anytime. hahaha.


oyasumi!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

My Esteemed Friend,



It has been a while, it certainly has. And yet, it can't seem to do much else but get better and better!!! =) I know you're fidgety and uncomfortable in your situation, but your time has come. And it will come again and again in phases, whereby the best thing to do is not to shirk, but to stand up and take the challenge. And I know you will. I just know. You're wonderful that way. I know you've been the one dishing out the advice till now, but I feel.. freed. I feel a relief I've never felt before in finally being your peer and not your charge. The strange irony is how you loved me more as a child. Love is blind, they say.


I wouldn't have it any other way but this. I absolutely would not. I'm so glad that she's come along, glad that you've been your usual level headed self, and glad that you can and will love her. I can imagine the struggle and the doubts that you speak of, but I cannot fully comprehend. Yet I know you will come through alright. Struggle now if you must; it is wiser this way than to struggle afterward...


You're an amazing person, one who gives so much and simply doesn't know it! Really, really.. I can't say how I feel about your amazingness.. it isn't something that can be offered in words. But I wish you all the best, with great peace in knowing that I'm glad things turned out this way. =) And I wish you knew how wonderful you are. You'll do great and things will be fine. For Sure.


Love,
Me.


You make it feel like Christmas. And since you're never going to see this (At least I hope not!!!), I guess it's cool. =)