Monday, July 28, 2008

I can't skip more than about 100 skips in a row? Is that very poor????

Sigh.

Need to lose weight.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Continuation


Is everything a fleeting moment? I suspect not, because yesterday's horrors grieve me, and the stench of my defiant self-destruction carries over into tears in the arms of one who loves me. Yet the world appears to continue in it's existential turning.


In that single vapourous moment of pain and grief, a single 'I love you' is everything.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

REDRESS


I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, to discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and to be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.-Henry David Thoreau.


Oh would I take such words to savour on a sunny day. Did you, Mr. brave Thoreau, pen these words in blood when the moon's crimson reflected your heart's state? If so, I commend your integrity and passion. If not, I am glad to know you were human.


Either way, I lay jaded, feeling flaccid, flattened, bewildered, angry, expendable. Your words make me cry because I wish I had the courage to say them the way I did last year. I wish I had the guts to live.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Rose petals, strong wind, Ruach Elohim, green expansive grass. It's like playing with a gentle lion.

Aslan.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

God gives...


Time.
and Healing.


VENE IS AT CAMP! SO EXCITING!!!! (: Now i wish i was there.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Another party's over


I don't feel alive.
I want to go somewhere where I do feel alive.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

"Just remember, head lice never killed anyone."- CL


Tomorrow is my last day at the hospital and I am going to miss everyone dreadfully. Some have already expressed dismay at my departure, and others are not so aware of tomorrow's significance. Either way, there have been a many-plenty memories made in this place, huge and unforgettable learning experiences I really enjoyed and most of all, the faith of humankind in one another, on one hand having no choice, and on the other doing it's best to hold out for another human being. That's what working together is. And amidst the turf wars and rat race fighting, a solemn truce is the niche I've finally discovered- working for the benefit of someone else.


Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear. "So I'm not going to see you when you go" were words that I had to let go of because they weren't good for me. But my heart broke too when I saw her confusion and grief over everything. You should never get attached to work. And if you do, learn to put it back down where it belongs.


The lustre of progress, the dispair of stagnancy- the perfectionisms of the independent woman in high heels. This job has its yays and nays but through it all it is God who has been faithful to see me thus far and tomorrow I pray He will see to it that I am passed.


Work seems easier than life at this point. Much easier.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

bursted.

I needed a laugh. Thanks babe. Very timely. (:

Feeling shitty.. going to sleep. I wish I wasn't so dyspeptic.
bursted.

I needed a laugh. Thanks babe. Very timely. (:

Feeling shitty.. going to sleep. I wish I wasn't so dyspeptic.