hey.. I get tomorrow as a holiday.. it's labour day! You guys have school. Prepare for me to laugh. *ahem* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *cough cough* MUAHAHAHAHAHHA.

It's sunday.. it's sunday and I'm stuck preparing for two essays and my neck is killing me!!! halp.... Rachel... could you send me the lyrics to scarlet please?? Thanks.

I've just begun to learn to play that song from ffx, return to Zarnakand, or somthing like that. I don't know what it's really called, but I'll say one thing. It sounds fantastic!!!! MAN! I love that song so much! I'm not really moving on with scarlet... still on the second page- too lazy to finish it off. I've been playing come what may with chords, but I'm thinking of learning the real thing. A litle lazy, though...

Sooo.... o levels are out huh... hope everything else is fine...

Rachel... I hope you can cope with your studies just fine... You're so clever so 'm sure it's ok. I wish I was less tired. Then I'd work on some jap. But then everything is piling up, and I have to get rid of that first. Yikes!

Lydia, lucky you gets to go to Calvary every week!!! Haiz.. I wanna come back and see you and go for camp! Your letter was very very very very long... and I guess I understand how you feeleven if I don't understand your decision... But I'll always support you, remember that ok???

Avril... heard you kena some bitching izzit... aiya... dun talk back to them larz... jz pretend you didn't hear... den act nice to them lorz... that's wat I do here... hahaha...

kkz... buaiz pple. Hi Sotong how are you, and I'm crapping again. Oww, better go finish my work lar... seeya!

Hehehe... my mommy is here!!!!
And I have my laptop!!! But that doesn't spell internet access, cos I don't have a phone line... It's just that the laptop is like soooooo cool... I understand how Rachel feels now... hahaha...

O levels are out.. and I had a gala day screaming in school and over the phone. I tried to call Melvin and Lydia, but I couldn't get through, so only Rach heard me scream. Please tell Lydia my story, Rachel...

I got 6 points!!! YAHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I could be in VJC!!! OMG!!!!!! but it's ok... I'm here already.... There's nothing to say.. but dots. Now I'm up to there in homework... and i'm not doing much at all cos I stayed up so late to see my mom come in from the airport.. Slept at 3.. sad sad... then now I'm all zonked out. -_-"

I'm so happy!! I got the letters from mytwo favourite babez!!! love ya!! heh heh... my shag bands and my ring are being worn now... and all the time... I am keeping the letters... and I will try to write snail mail soon...

I'm going to try calling you guys sometime soon again ok?? yeah...

BTW, I've finally found a good friend. But I won't be wriing aything about tht yet. Tell you on the phone Lydia. Long story. Later got time den write ok? Sorry other people who are readin this!

Hey... today had a creepy experience... and I don't like creepy people. I will stay away from creepy people. Love all you non creepy people. Call you guys soon. Sotong chao tar yet?

Love forever,
Sara

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah... school pretty much is something I close my eyes and cheong through. However, it seems that rachel is mooning. You are terrible!!!! hahaha.. why couldn't you moon like when I was still around?? so bad!!!

I miss PMK. I love it too. I watch theeps on my com though... sad sad sad. I have only up to 10.

Nothing to say about school but I will say it isn't that great. Ok, it sucks. But I don't care. Because my homestay girl is the best, and because I've found the greatest church in perth!!! hahahahaha... I'm content to do what I like on weekends. I will be content. I refuse to back down cos of some crappy school...

Rachel... Please don't moon without me. I have no one to moon about and I'm very very very happy about it. So looks like we've traded places. Crap.

Stuff is expensive, but I don't buy much. Whatever.

I have to say this again even though I've said it so many times.

I love you Lydia.
I love you Rachel.
I love you Avvy.
I love you Shu.
I love you Eleanor.
I love you mandy...

write more another time...

What country, friends, is this???

If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended,
that you have slumbered here
while these visions did appear.
And this weak and Idle theme, no morre yielding but a dream...

Of laughter and of mirth... I wish I wish this were a dream...

Perhaps it is, these surly swirls of reality going past me, around me, through me...

Poor humans, are we.. separated by the sea, all enduring much in different ways...

Could it be that I should rest my eyes... on thee once again in time to come. Time immortal, time doth passeth slowly, the hourglass sending sand grain by grain...

Nothing much going on in school, know? Work's pretty heavy, but it's workable. Looks like rachey's not doing so good... And what happened to lydia?? Haven't heard much...

Looks like we're all having a tough time, but if I can keep my chin up, no less you all over there... So stick it out in there... I know it can be as difficult as it is here... don't stress, I'm always on your side...

Taekwondo sounds good!! I hope you're doing good asskicking... Yeah, from one NAnny state to another, I wish you all the best.

Just did some English crap on Nanny state...

Hope to go to town on saturday and get myself a life. Was thinking of wearing the top Rach, Lyd and Jo got me, but I couldn't find my tube... too dangerous to expose that much, know??
KK... catch up later... TAKE CARE!!!

Hey Hey hey heyhey….

How’s the world? How’s Sg???

I think I’m beginning to get used to things here, and I’m not feeling so bad anymore.. heh heh.

I miss church so much! Calvary AOG rawks!!!

Avril, please go for the coming play at calvary and tell me about it.

Sotong, I’m eternally grateful for the photos you sent!!!

Rach and Lyd, read your mail!

Shu, I haven’t forgotten you! How’s AHS?? Heard the band is getting sucky. Ah well.

Ok, not so depressed anymore, and I’m going to be this social person who goes around with everyone, not just one group. Only in church do I feel a bit better. I still miss church in Sg. Oh well, God is still here in a different place. Hahaha. I’m very very very grateful for that.

Ok… hope everybody is ok, I’ll update when I have the time ok? Meanwhile, praying for y’all!

Dear all,

You only know what you lose when you've lost it. But I don't regret not doing or doing certain things when I was in Singapore. So I'm fortunate that I "died" and left Sg with little or no regrets.

Yes, like it or not, I "died". Nothing will ever be tha same again and that is something I must MUST come to terms with. I MUST move on or I will be miserable.

However, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I mis Rachel and Lydia so so so so badly. Dear girls, I must tell you this now: My social position is quite terrible and I think that i will be without a good friend for a long long time. Also, nothing will ever beat our friendsship and when I talked to one of my close church frens e other day, I realised that what we had was a real blessing from God, and that good friends are RARE! Very very very very RARE. A near extinct breed, and I think I shall have to be content with acquaintances all year. I will be content knowing that it's ok to be goodfriendless in that sense. Because i have been hurt by the people here and I don't think I shall make any attempts to socialise soon. Maybe eventually, when I feel like I can handle the social system better, I'll make a few more friends. I'm so afraid to put myself out there- make myself vulnerable. As if I don't have enough to deal with!

I don't know what to do, socially, really. I guess just hang around by myself, come home straight from school, and go find teachers for lunch in the afternoon. No, I don't want a social life right now.

I feel threatened by that group of singapore girls, I don't want thm near me. The malaysians are studying way too hard. I have 2 options. Take up Grant's group of friends just to test the waters out, or to ask my church people to look up some murdoch kids for me. I'll start by doing both. I must be careful, though. Not go headlong into something I don't know about. But by the way grant is right now, I think their group may be an ok group.

Little miss rachel girl here wasn't too happy with sara the study nerd. Too bad. The faster she drops me the better. Just don't bitch about me can liaoz. I was nice to the gal who insulted me in front of the other girls, but I don't want to be her friend. It was just for the sake of proving that I'm not LIKE THAT. Whatever like that is like.

I love you two forever, and I miss you two so much. I will see you soon ok?!?! Mommy is coming down soon, but not soon enough. on the 27th of feb. I am counting the days to keep me alive. 18 days left. That's a start. I will drill my way through to it. Wish I could call you girls every night. I would so get killed.

School work isn't that easy, so I'll slack off a bit for a start. Less stress, less sadness. the first 3 days I was here, I didn't know what to do. I was such a wreck. And I really thought I was going to die. And for the first time in a long long time, I thought about overdosing. But it just crossed my mind. I thought about my parents and my friends and I knew I would never do it.

I realised that on thursday my human spirit was capable of dealing with this. I felt terrible, and still feel terrible sometimes, and scared and hurt, but I knew that if I could just wait through the suffering I would survive. It's the second week. Don't expect too much, I told myself.

I guess I'll have to enjoy being a loner for these few days. Find my own fun. Even if I become boring it's at the expense of survival. I'll learn to enjoy my own space. and lots of it. To be content on my own till someone comes along.

My skills of assessing people have failed me rarely. And I don't like what I see in the people here. So What I'll do is just stick around till I find someone who looks at least trustworthy.

And take it from me girls, what we lost when we separated is not ALL of our closeness, cos our foundation is firmly built. We'll always be friends cos the world has too few saras Lydias and rachels. We were the perfect chemical formula and only now do I know how to truly treasure our friendship. Your photo's in my notebook. You're part of me now.

I hope you are alright. Everybody's adjusting to their new life now, and I think you all have different problems from me. It's just that everything seems to be coming my way all so fast. I wish I has a shield.

Every time you need love, I'm on your side. Still here, still truly and fully yours,

Sara the cheesecake
even though i'm far away, our sky is still the same...

I miss you guys.

Dear friends.

Not doing so well. Got SERIOUS problem adjusting PLEASE PRAY!!!

I miss everybody and I love you all out there. People here are not as nice as you and I'm still trying to steel up my will to carry on and be more think skinned- don't care what others think. I look foward to visiting you all eventually.

Pray I'll find good friends, although I've already found my best.

I cry a lot, I'm very sad to say, but almost every night and I don't have much time to do so either cos I'm supposed to study. So keep me in prayer.

I'm learning to stand alone. And It's tough. I'm learning who I am all over again, and It's a painful difficult process. I can cry up to 3 times a day, and everybody can't do anything.

Things will and are gradually getting better, but my emotions are so delicate that just hearing my mom's voice on the phone can make me burs out crying. What people are doing in school is not very nice to me, but I just have to tell myself that I don't care whether people think I'm bad or wrong or freaky, because I'm not and everyone back home had proven that to me by being so supportive.

So I'll dry my tears and try again. Gaining a bit more control of my thoughts and emotions, sorted out some thinking.

I will be ok eventually, it's just that I have to wait this time out.

I love you everybody! Rach and Lydia,
I can't believe you told me on the same night the same thing- that we're all looking up at the same blue sky. We'll be alright.

Sara