Whoo. INtrasting. Tomorr is the second last day of school. And I am so happy it will be over soon. whoo.

Lydia! How to use the hello thing? I'm so blur.

Hahah. Talking to melvin now. So fun. Miss the whole gang back home. Waha. Me and Melvin's timing very very bad lorr. I am coming to Sg 18th to 1st... he is going to Korea 16th to 2nd... so SAD! Man... he and Loony will be gone...

Melvin's changed a lot.. in a good way. God's work. yay.

some people are online now. not talking to them. it's okae. I think he doesn't wanna talk either. And yet I know if we talk we'll be friendly. I think whatever happens happens. And I can let it go now. One day I'll see him on the streets and we'll say hi, and we'll be ok. and nothing more. No funny feelings, no suspicions.. just hi. And I'll feel good about it. I know he doesn't hate me... just awkward. Oh... I hope it settles itself soon.. only God can clear it. And it's simple for him too! It dosn't matter whether we never talk.. .or if we one day talk... or if we never see each other again. I'm just glad I got a chance to meet him.. and learn so so much from him in a short time.

I'll see you.. some day. for now... I'll cheerfully say goodbye.

Aniwaes... talking to foong yee and tim now. Whee. It's late better go slp now...

[sayonara... genki daiyo]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you remember the results I said were coming out in late september that would determine when I could go back to Singapore? I'm sure you do. I just got them and guess what it says??

We do not know if you have got an interview. Please check with the relevant universities to find out the cut off score for 2004.

So I went to the UWA website to look for the 2004 cut off score.

Cut off scores are not disclosed. Please wait for a notification which we aim to post AFTER the TEE exams finish. (24th nov)

So I went to look for last year's cut off score, because I thought maybe I'd be way below average and could then book my flight home early.

Scores each year are subject to the number of places available. We do not disclose scores. Please contact the staff if you wish to obtain a rough estimate.

So I tried to call the medicine faculty, and NOBODY answered the phone.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gRRUMBLE grumble grumble grumble grumble.

When am I ever going to find out when I can go home?????? Just cos the unis have the pick of us all doesn't mean they should wind us round their little fingers! Just tell me whether I got it or not!

Oh, and just for the record, my score is 59, 58, 51.
That's 84%, 84%, 58% (non verbal reasoning sucked. haha.)

Just realised something. The 'post' button on blogger looks like the necklace that LC gave me. [why am i thinking about these things???? Sara!!]

Dunno why I'm feeling a bit cold.. think the weather hasn't stablised. I left the biology test to fend for itself. Thought I'd write something here instead. So much for priorities.

Well, that's IT! No more post aniversaries.. My post count has stopped at 92 for good. Maybe when I lazy (aft exams) I will email blogger about it.

Read Nina's blog about the SMS nation... And I realised I had some as well. And I realised how much the small things matter... like i still have the message that says, "Woohoo! Same! Six Points!" from Rachel.. and I never did delete any of his messages even if Rach and Lyd do think he's a bit.... diongz. I have Lyd's message telling me when to call, and Mandy's message saying hi.. and emails... they never get deleted either... sigh. Why do we try to hold on so hard? Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to live a life I haven't got. Like I'm lingering between past and present. Trying to move on, but not wanting to.

Thinking about tomorr. Last week of school. Beautiful. The faster it comes the sooner I can be home. UMAT people, u have 4 days to send me my results! Quik! Den I can make arrangements. yay yay yay...

eee. End of year liaoz.. so much to do when I go back... man... I can't wait! I want to go home. to sweat like normal... to SWIM IN LYDIA'S POOL... to watch Kenshin.. and PMK and to walk arnd in shorts and slippers, show my fats to the world. To stick my tongue out at topsy... to go visit all my old friends. To hang at the mall. Bubble tea. Shopping. Chic flicks. Cheesy jokes. School uniform. North star shoes. Billabong. Culture.... so home..

Who's in the house? JC! He rawks my world! (wanna dance with the Calvary pple toooooooo)

hyaah hyaah hyahh... *yawn* last lap people.. only 1 more week of this term! Cheong arrh!

*stream of dust*

haiya. Thinking again, about some people. I don't know if his number will ever show on my phone again... He did say he'd call, but it's been 2 weeks. I think I shouldn't hope at all. It's silly. I wonder if things are better this way. I miss talking to him. I wonder if he even thinks about who I am at all. Maybe not...

sigh sigh... got tests... must study!!!!!!!!!!

byeee~

eee. I am so very very sure that I have more than 92 posts but the blogger dashboard wun update it for me! (cos it's been 92 for the last 2 times I posted..) Never mind, I suppose it's a decent number. not prime or anything. Prime numbers are irritating.

Driving again today. And I only stalled once. I parked. In an empty carpark with all the space in the world to move, I feel that it was not that great an achievement. I can turn properly now... and I went and watched the italian job again. It's my all time favourite movie now. I was thinking for my birthday maybe we should pig out and watch it. Again. I've already watched it at least 4 times. And there's always room for more!

Speaking of room for more.. I am running out of space and time for fat. Prom is coming and my fats are showing. Girls girls girls... maybe I shall have a fat prom this year? (you know.. white christmas, fat prom...)

I was relatively productive today... some biology notes done.. a bit of math.. yeah, I guess it's alright. Been thinking about what to buy for people already.. see, exams haven't even come yet!! I think jelly beans is counted in as default. Just tell me what else you want... Oh, and have you heard of cola and lemonade nerds? I just saw some today.

Eye candy. No, not that cute. Just funny, and also a nice singer. One nose, 2 eyes, 2 ears... not bad, hey? I don't know where he's from. Got funny surname. haha. Aniwaes we dun talk.. and I find that the less you know about the boys here, the nicer they seem. =) Pessimistic about guys in my school, I am.

Halp... I dun wanna be fat for prom!!! SHuMbOdy TaKe My FaTsSs... err. Avvy, u want? I GIVE u all.... hahaha. no, don't give me that look!

WhEeEeeEeEee. Mocks in 2 weeks! Let's have exams! fun fun fun fun fun... (can't you tell I'm drunk?)

schleep whell pheeeeeeeeepole.

*hic*
*sheepish smile*

3rd time driving today. I am getting a teensy better. But so scared of hitting the accelerator that I keep stalling the car. Depressed today, so I went down to get bubble tea and I ended up talking to the girl there again. But she's a different girl. BUT, she's also from japan in a place near Tokyo, BUT I don't know her name. Sigh. So many buts. lame.

Lydia also wants chocolate. Lydia also want to slim down. We are so the same.. it's so nice to be sameish.

Rachel has promos?? I think... aniways she hasn't updated so I assume lots of very very decent studying is being done. Jia you and take care okae okae?? Love ya.

YukYuk. Not good mood for writing blog.

But got new eye candy.

haha.

=)

I feel really really upset. There's a whole bunch of reasons causing this.. and I think it all has to do with me. I think it has to do with that I can't take things well enough, I can't be nice enough to people, I'm super irritating and annoying and I JUST CAN'T STAND MYSELF NOW. I SUCK. I know how I haven't been able to cut it, haven't been the person I should be or was, and just am slacking away not doing anything about myself. Why have I lost the motivation to be the best I can be? I don't care anymore. I can go and rot in the gutter for all I care now. I can be the bitch that's just yelling to come out. I can just be the person I know people have labelled me. I can give it all up right now, because I'm SO TIRED of doing anything anymore. I could return to the way I was. Bitch. Recluse. arrogant snob. slacker. irresponsible. ignorant. It's all so so easy. To let it all slide. away. To let loose altogether. I don't think anyone approves but I don't want to think about that. I let what people say and do affect me too much you know.

[so distraught]

Yiiie! I baked cookies! Yummie... err. Cookie Monster? hehehe..

Choc chip rawks.

eh girls.. have fun okae?? I'm really looking foward to coming back SOON! Really Soon! It'll be a few months!! (only??)

woke up thinking about taking bus in SG.. and MRT... very cool...

love yall...

muack.

I think I'm slowly going mad... stark mad... I feel like I'm being desperately twisted and pulled out of proportion, flattened out and wrinkled, or maybe just plain sat on. Squashed. I'm no longer counting down the days to go back to Singapore, I just think I won't be able to stand the suspense of the time between now and then, which has become a vaccum... and it's drawing me in... I'm trying to shut the time space... but I feel like it's going to overwhelm me and I will go totally insane and warp like people who get stuck in space. (Ex 2k'ers remember dearest Mr. Lawrence LAu?? Did he ever talk to you about black holes, I wonder? It's wasn't pretty, though... He told us how people die by getting turned inside out...)(did he also tell you about the time he got tipsy at his 10 year reunion?)

I won't spend my life
waiting for an angel to decend
Searching for a rainbow with an end
Now that I've found you I'll call off the search.
And I won't spend my life
gazing at the stars up in the sky
Wondering if love will pass me by
Now that I've found you
I'll call off the search.

It's a cool jazz song by Katie Melua.. She's quite nice.. But she's the kind I get tired off quite fast. I imagine people buy these albums to listen to in their little chic studio apartments, with a midnight glass of wine and the yellow lights on, gazing out of the balcony and seeing nothing but the glorious city below. Wait, that's New York.

Man~ I am so lazy these days... I don't feel like doing any work.. I love taking long showers and playing the piano for ages, sreeching my lungs out... which I try to pass off as singing, and basically chilling with? You guessed it- me. I realised something.. I love two things bestest of all in terms of food- wine and Chocolate.. I think there's chocolate wine and there's definately wine chocolate, so all is fine and peaceful in my food-world. *chomp*

*sighz* --> discontented sigh. I hate school nowadays. They should just let me stay at home and complain and study... heh heh. I'd lurrrve that. But there are two things I enjoy very much in school! 1. Caro 2. Lydia. hehe. Someone once said that wherever you go, there are replicas of your friends.. so that you'll never be alone.. I never believed that and I even scoffed at the idea in the beginning.. but now... I realise that I am so fortunate. Although these people are so so so different from my Rachel and Lydia.. those irreplacable BABES! I think just having them is so special... I wonder if things are like that with Sangi and Nadia.

I think that although life has changed in so many ways, I am quite ready to point out certain things that never change...
1. Grass is green, Sky is blue
2. You have cool girls everywhere
3. There's always ALWAYS eye candy, and the rule is that it is more or less evenly distributed. (no girls, contrary to popular belief, there isn't more here. There is just as much. No more, no less)
4.You find comfort in the small things
5. Chocolates are not more fattening, nor do they taste better. =) Fair's fair.
6.Me and You... forever.. my best!(obviously the two babes... Rach and Lyd) (yes, that includes Shu, Avvy, Mandy girl, Jo.. and how many more? I can't name you all!!!)(Man! Am I the most blessed girl on earth to have you or what????)
7. Food intake=fat
8. exams=stress
9. dessert=fun + fat
10. God= everything

[I want to live until I die, no more no less.]

Hey babez, I'm gonna try writing an entry in jap okae? (very poor jap, that is.) If u have windows XP and can't read it, try clicking view, encoding and then Japanese... here goes... have fun with the silly symbols!

今日、私わちょっと悲しいと挫折。理由はわかりませんでした。たいへんですね。でも、ともだちがたくさんありますね！うれしいな！な、大好きの人はせが低い、とてもしんせつな！その上に、神は大好きですね。今、晩御飯わ食べました。ご飯はおいしいです。ちょっと疲れてから、元気じゃないです。学校は好きじやないですね。たいへんのひとがありますね！なぜですか。ごめなさい、ごみがたくさんあります。チョコレットが大好きです。じゃあ、また。

*sighz* okae, so that didn't say much... hahah. I can's say much! hehe, but it's okae.. I shall ramble on in english next time...

I think the rough translation is thus-
Today, I am a little sad and frustrated. I know not the reason. Sucky. but, I have many friends! Happie~ I had dinner today, and it was good. Because I am tired, I dun feel that great. I don't like school. whyy????? Sorrie, a lot of rubbish here... I love chocolate... seeyas~

haha, not good right? But I shall improve.. a bit... heheh.. maybe I really really should go and drop jap now... exams so near liaoz. heh.

Wahhaah. Got permission liaoz. Okae. I finally get a little bit of revenge, after all the insults and everything *laffs*. But who cares, Tim loves embarrassing himself. I was walking along with lil' old timayee. And he was saying something when stephan came along... and all poor stephan heard was "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" when it was actually taken seriously out of context. And the poor kid just blushed deep red, eyes wide, and said, "Sorry Tim" and we were both laughing.. that year 8 kid is so funny.. small, cute, mousy.. in a good way... I think. Very kaypo also. but nevertheless, you let little kids off for being so ba dao. If they're your age you avoid them like plague...

Haha... Another one... I was sitting in the bus the other day... saturday it was, and tim was talking to me while standing outside the bus. (it was obviously not moving.) And he was trying to tease me about this guy who's been acting weird in school, so he said something like, "So did he say "I love you sara?"" And all that the people in the bus really heard was "I love you Sara." Talk about selective hearing... Anyways, I was very glad that I didn't have to think up some other way to annoy him, because it backfired in a way... you know my "SLOW" brain can't handle this kind of "QUICK" thinking. So even though I do consider myself a major victim, it still goes to say I can't get my own back very often. *sighz* Why do you think I become violent? (just kidding) But I think Tim is more abused by violence than by words... simply cos I got nothing to say that will agitate him. So sad right? Rachel is an easy target. Let's talk about string okae?

Girls girls girls girls. I am coming back soooooooooooooooooon. Wait for meeeeeee! Den we go shopping and takopachi and Yoshinoya.

Three cheers for Singapore food!

I LOVE PHISH (tailess) AND PIGS (alive)~ *hic*

I know I'm really terrible.. haven't updated in ages and the last time I did I wrote about fish. Not that I am not constantly writing about fish.. and Phishie wrote about fish as well in her latest entry~~ *thinks* I really think that fish are popular and I know Rachel agrees here...

Heh heh, Nina's back in Sg! Hope you're having the time of your life there girl! Enjoy okae!!!

What to say, very tired, and a lot's been happening recently.. a bit irritated and sad now, but who cares?

I know what theme I am gonna have for my 21th birthday party- chocolate. People, be prepared.. if u dun bring a chocolatty dish, dun come into the house! (Plus you get splashed with water on the way out.)

I really want to go home. I've complained about this a million times, but there are times still that I just want out, want the quiet comfort of home, want to relax and not push myself, and I just want it so bad I could cry. And that day I saw Rach and Lyd on MSN.. i was so so so happy!!! I tell myself, just wait it out a bit more... a bit more... a bit more......

PERTH! MURDOCH COLLEGE! WHY SO SUCKY!?! don't mind me, I'm stressed again. haha.

hehehehe... I met this jap gal working in the bubble tea store and I talked to her.. she's japanese and I got her email! so cool.. also I saw Naho online the other day, who had just come home from work.. wahhaha. so cool!! (I alwaes liked her better than Arima Sensei. I dunno why.. maybe cos she was here longer...) Everybody thinks I'm nuts, cos I've told them all about the jap girl..

Ehh. I wrote a very long para here.. it's a very embarrassing story, that's really funny, but it's not MY story, although I was a major victim... So I decided not to write it first... in case some people I know die of blushing... hehe. maybe next time.. with approval I will...

Fish for dinner. I can smell it from here, and 4 of them sit on the kitchen counter... so forlornly. Sometimes I wonder why I feel bad that they were once alive... Maybe cos I saw them once alive, and I got attached to them. I think I'm good at making friends with fishes. (Let us call to the witness stand Ms. Gan Rui Xia.)

It's the first day of Spring. Is there a greeting for it? Like Happy spring or Merry Spring or something? Anyway it's getting warmer. I'm so glad about that.

Taisho restaurant is part of my agenda tomorrow! Ikimashou!

So contented these days. Perhaps it's that I'm finally settling in. Or maybe the time for me to go back draws nearer. I've changed so so much. I guess the thing that scares me most is that when I go back, I'll realise how different I've become. Sometimes I do still wish that the times in sec 4 would come back, even just for a day. I can almost feel the comfort of familiarity sometimes in the air, and in the still heat of the afternoon, I remember, finally, what it's like to feel warm.

Life is good. And there's nothing more I could ask for! I really think that God has been very very good to me, even in the times when there was more than one bump in the road. (It was more like a mound of rubble to me. Debris flying and landslides everywhere. mehh.)

Please please please dun erase this entry! I am gonna click publish and if nothing comes thru, I will go and do math. If it does come thru, you can all see how much I care about typing up another entry, and I will do my hw anyway.

Shu- Jia You! Add more oil! Ni Yao! You rock! Prelims is uphill, but o's is downhill liaoz. Hehe! Stay strong and stay cool gal! Can't wait to seeya!!

Lydia- Hehehe, How's your bio test? Must remember to have fun okae? And stay cute and lovely!!! Missing you tooooooooo~ Buki.

Wachel- haha, Talked to you yesterday! Makes me feel so nice to know that you're so you... and I imagine topsy and your room everytime I talk to you.. and I feel so warm inside. Talking to you makes me feel like I'm home again. It's a comfortable thing. (But Jonana's joke wasn't really a good memory, ne?? haha)

Avvy- Gal power!! How're you doing babez! Dun eva give up ya???? I'm coming back soon.. must make sure u see me arh... dun go on some random holiday!!!! I love you too much!

Tim- Yo bro!! I'm cutting your sugar intake from tomorr onwards. 1. It's not healthy 2. It costs too much 3. (the main reason) IT MAKES YOU CRAZY~ wahahahahaha had a great time bullying mehh right? I need to superglue my watch to my wrist liaoz. Daddie??? Got ElEpHaNt Glue??? nyahh. Keep the faith, run the race!